Christmas Come Early

Dear Santa,

They say it takes a big man to apologize and a bigger man to accept that apology. Here's hoping you're the bigger man, Santa.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry your eternity is the most thankless job of all time. I'm sorry kids cry, pee and poop on you while their parents take pictures they'll never remember being in. I'm sorry Tim Allen played you in The Santa Clause. (I'm really sorry they made 3 of those awful movies.) I'm sorry for our one-way relationship over all these years. Finally, and more specifically, I'm sorry I stopped believing in you.

Regardless of my disbelief you've continued to nurture our relationship and, instead of defriending me, you simply embraced my doubt as an opportunity to flex those miracle muscles by granting my beloved sports teams an embarrassment of riches during this holiday season. (And not the shitty kind those wise men brought to baby Jesus. I mean, seriously, what the fuck is an infant going to to with Myrrh?)

You brought out the big reindeer and gave the Sox a penchant to use that checkbook they've had stashed in their back pockets the past few offseasons while their main opposition was slighted for using theirs. You transformed youth & arrogance into a coachable defense in Patriot Nation. You showed another hall-of-famer that chemistry is as important to winning a championship in Shamrock Land as hitting his free throws. And, if that wasn't enough, you put an end to the idiocy surrounding some old dude's desire to keep playing a game that passed him by.

Well played, Santa. Well. Played.

The age old adage, "When things seem too good to be true they usually are" speaks to the full-time conspiracy theorist in me but, considering what time of year it is, I think we both know there is no conspiracy here. There's just a fat man in a red suit with magical powers bringing all of us New England sports fans a little holiday cheer.

Again, I'm sorry about my past-disbelief-filled-discretions and, in all honesty, I'm really quite pleased we're beyond my "non-believing" phase. Rest assured, Kris, any speculation concerning your existence from this moment on will be dismissed as unsubstantiated gossip and hearsay.

Sincerely,
sports + thoughts

PS: Please tell Rudolph thanks again for his help. I haven't been that busy since Amsterdam in '03.

PPS: Oh, and stop stressing, it looks NOTHING like a bowlful of jelly when you laugh.

PPPS: Not even a little bit.

Quick Thinking: Let's Go Have a Goddamn Snack

I know one game does not a season make but, since HBO's Hard Knocks aired this summer, the Jets have been crowned as the class of the AFC and, by a majority of media outlets, as the "best team in football."

So where do they stand following a 45-3 drubbing at the hands of the Patriots on Monday Night Football? Were the wheels officially hammered off the hype machine or did a great team simply have a bad game?

I don't know.

What I do know, however, is that while I enjoyed the ass-kicking as much as any other in Patriot Nation, the victory - in and of itself - means very little. It wasn't a playoff win. It wasn't a championship win. It was one game. And, as we all know, one game does not a season make.

Unless it's the Super Bowl.

------------------
Quick Thinking
------------------

-- The signing of Carl Crawford means Jacoby Dreamboat just became Jacoby Tradebait.

-- It also means the age old adage, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" is Theo's new battle cry.

-- Looks like you need some more milk to wash down all that humble pie you were served on Monday night, Rex.

-- I'd recommend sticking to the skim variety.

-- Hey, Brett, at least the interception fever that has ended your previous 3 seasons can't stop your egomaniacal run toward 300 consecutive games started.

-- You may have sustained some injuries but at least you haven't tarnished your legacy in the process or anything.

-- NOT!!!

-- The respective performances of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning over the past 3 weeks with both throwing to sub-par receivers should end the debate on who the better quarterback is.

-- Tom is so good right now he's even transforming "questionable post-game wardrobe decisions" into "trendy male fashions." Let's hope he can pull off wearing the Cement Shoes (-3) this weekend in Chi-town.

-- If you haven't seen Jimmy Fallon, JT & The Roots perform The History of Rap than you NEED to.

-- Now.

-- Randy Moss being traded has turned out to be the greatest example of addition by subtraction since J.R. was shot on Dallas.

-- I'm guessing Randy wishes it was all a dream, too.

-- Why are all the ladies screaming? Did Bradley Cooper just take his shirt off or something?

-- Shit. He did?

-- Ok, fine. I'll give this one up to all my female readers out there. Have fun soaking it in, ladies.



[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sorry, ladies. I tried. But photobucket is the law around these parts.]

-- But the sound I was referring to was the collective cheer heard from Woman Nation on Sunday following the sumo chop Haloti Ngata used to break Mr. Roethlisberger's nose.

-- The irony, of course, is after getting his nose broken, trapping drunk co-eds in bathrooms while his entourage stands guard is now officially Big Ben's only recourse when he feels like getting "lucky."

-- Too soon?

-- I mean, c'mon, if there was an "e" at the end of his "rap" BEFORE his nose looked like a right angle...

-- Obligatory photos of three incredibly hot women.









-- I know the above pictures were void of any witty introduction. But, as we all know, one shirtless man needs to be balanced out by three hot women.

-- Sorry, ladies, I don't make the rules. I simply try to follow them.

Quick Thanking: Gobble, Gobble, Bitches.

America's favorite Hangover Holiday provides the perfect opportunity for starting an annual practice of paying respect to some of the sights, sounds and events that, up to this point, have directly or indirectly shaped yours truly as a person and, in most cases, the psyche-molding magic was achieved unbeknownst even to those providing it.

Let us give thanks.

--------------------
Quick Thanking
--------------------

-- I'm thankful my Super Bowl kicker's name was Adam Vinatieri and not Scott Norwood.

-- Or Ray Finkle.

-- I'm thankful the judicial system is as imperfect as I am.

-- I'm thankful my nephews realize love is measured by interaction and not purchased gifts.

-- I'm thankful the Joyce Brothers Grimm have atoned for childhood wrongs by providing two sets of children who have kept hope alive in my heart since the day they were born.

-- I think Fencepost Roboto will provide more of the same.

-- Times a million.

-- I'm thankful my gut instinct is right most of the time.

-- I'm also thankful its wrong on occasion.

-- I'm thankful my journey is like no other I've ever heard off.

-- I'm thankful I can "go deep" better than Brett Favre ever will.

-- I'm thankful it wasn't 3 degrees colder the night of January 9th, 2004.

-- Or 3 degrees warmer, for that matter.

-- I'm pretty pumped I wasn't driving my Xterra that night as well.

-- I'm thankful my polarizing personality lets me know where I stand with people at all times.

-- Helps keeps me relaxed.

-- Doesn't do shit for my persistent pit stains, though.

-- I'm thankful my hometown is Central Falls, R.I.

-- Or, rather, The City of Dreams. (It's lesser known moniker.)

-- Based on the current governing body, corruption, cocaine and indictments should be in there somewhere.

-- I'm thankful Victoria has a secret.

-- Especially her "push up" ones.

-- I'm thankful the Zombie Renaissance is happening all around me.

-- I'm also thankful my stellar crossbow skills will keep me safe when the Renaissance evolves into the Apocalypse.

-- I'm thankful The Foundation allows me to be, well, me.

-- I'm thankful the demons in my closet don't visit as much.

-- I do miss "TJ" at times, though.

-- I'm thankful kdb was unapproachable.

-- I'm thankful Common's The Light provided me a musical personification of what love needs to be.

-- I'm thankful the Red Sox won a World Series Championship during my lifetime.

-- And then did it again.

-- I'm thankful v2.0 has challenged my views and sharpened my wits.

-- He also provided THE blueprint for behaviors I need to keep an eye out for when v3.0 arrives.

-- I'm thankful for every girl who broke my heart.

[Editor's Note: The resulting "rebounds" may not share that sentiment.]

-- I'm thankful for musical interludes.

-- If the second verse doesn't give you goosebumps on your goosebumps be sure to check your pulse.

-- I'm thankful the Team Chickenhawk triumvirate -- Yoda, Grandma JoJo & The Illegal Rudder -- took me under their collective wings in '99 and provided support as I discovered independence during my NYC years.

-- I'm thankful "potential" is eternal.

-- Reflection is, too.

-- I'm thankful I've seen 2 different versions of "The Big Three."

-- I'm thankful Shannon protected my youth, Saydie stood post after college and Umi shines her light today.

-- I'm thankful the sins of my father passed along to me.

-- And, now identified, I won't allow my son to be victimized by them.

-- I'm thankful I know what it feels like to dunk a basketball.

-- I'm also thankful I made it through my "career" avoiding being dunk'd on. Had a few in-game scuffles, flagrant fouls and post-game confrontations to keep that streak alive.

-- You know what they say about making an omelet...

-- I'm thankful Big Nick provides a moral standard I'll never obtain.

-- Doesn't mean I can't keep trying.

-- I'm thankful this blog has provided the voice I need to make sense of it all.

-- I'm thankful you take a little time out of your day to read sportsandthoughts.com.

-- Yes, you.

Quick Thinking: Character Flaws

True character is displayed during the valleys - not the peaks - of life, dear readers. So, while I'm dusting myself off for the umteenth time, my focus will be on things I live for.

And writing this blog is one of those things.

------------------
Quick Thinking
------------------

-- The Boston Celtics will run away with the Eastern Conference Title this year.

-- Then roll over Los Angeles in 5 for the franchises' 18th championship.

-- When I eventually have children, I've decided I want to "cut the cord" with the follow caveat: I get to use those big novelty scissors politicians use when a new, upscale hotel is opened in the heart of their city.

-- Hope I make it through hospital security with 'em.

-- Michael Vick's reclamation project is officially complete.

-- Congratulations on debunking all those relationship stereotypes swirling around professional athletes, Mr. Parker. You've squandered the love of a beautiful woman in addition to the privilege that comes along with it.

-- But, on the bright side, at least you'll make Tiger's Christmas card list this year.

-- So you have that going for you...

-- The over/under in the Cowboys/Lions game is wearing the Cement Shoes this weekend.

-- If they don't, I'll be wearing a pair at the bottom of the Blackstone River by Monday morning.

-- I don't remember dating a girl name Karma. But, based on how much the bitch hates me, I must have.

-- She should have realized I wasn't a keeper.

-- Quote of the Week goes to my favorite co-worker who made the following observation while having a post work libation, "Terrence, that girl is special...well, for a Hooters' girl."

-- They're all special, mate.

-- They're all cukin' frazy, too.

-- Beyonce's new commercial supports the age old marketing adage that sex does, in fact, sell.

-- There's no truth to the rumor an assistant falling to his death from a video taping tower is a microcosm of Notre Dame's football program during the post Lou Holtz era.

-- Too soon?

-- Does remembering when microwave popcorn was invented make me old?

-- Really?

-- Next thing you know you'll be telling me eating that same bag of popcorn near the local grade school during recess makes me creepy.

-- Useless Information Award of the Week goes to the New England Patriots for having a player named Zoltan.

-- Don't mess with him.

-- -- Remember, y'all, if you've ever enjoyed a laugh while reading and you have a facebook account, PLEASE CLICK HERE to become a fan.

-- Big ups to Kansas State University professor Mark Haub for changing the perception of my love for Twinkies from a "guilty pleasure" to a "healthy diet option."

-- Emmy Rossum, following in the footsteps of Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox, is the latest starlet to fall for Adam Duritz.

-- This is Ms. Rossum.



-- And this is Mr. Duritz.



-- If his pimp prowess continues, Adam will overtake Justin Timberlake atop my "man crush" list.

-- As well as Wilt Chamberlain.

You Can Take the Boy Out of C.F. ...

This blog is a shout out to a childhood friend who, since kindergarten, has navigated the minefield known as friendship with Terrence Joyce. (Think Saving Private Ryan but, rather than having a bunch of Germans shooting at you while you storm the beaches, you have to dodge the mean-spirited quips of my multiple personalities. Oh, and we outnumber the German army by millions.)

My friend, one Mr. Jorge Betancourt, offered an eye opening observation when he said: "I just want to tell you you're slackin' on your blog."

He's right.

The fact of the matter is simple: I'm not writing solely for my own selfish, cathartic needs anymore. As incredible as it may seem I actually have fans. Sure, maybe not enough to fill a school bus to capacity but certainly enough to push that same school bus out of harm's way so long as it was down a steep hill. Either way, regardless of the real number, fans are the personification of accountability which means I need to be, well, more accountable.

If I "expect" friends, strangers and other cyberspace dwellers to consistently read my inane babble than I need to provide a more consistent stream of said babble.

Lesson learned.

Big ups for the reality check, brother. Never be afraid to keep 'em coming.

Quick Thinking: Take My Life...Please

Lately I've heard a lot of friends talk about how they're afraid of identity theft.

And, while I can sympathize when it comes to fear, I find it impossible to share their anxiety for this particular fear because, well, I couldn't give my fucking identity away.

Even if I tried.

------------------
Quick Thinking
------------------

-- Big ups to the boys at Bar Stool Sports for another solid addition to their t-shirt arsenal.



-- The "inches" marker on the back is genius.

-- "Selling" and "giving away" are not the same thing.

-- Unless, of course, you're at the strip club.

-- HAYY-OOOOO!

-- The NFL should be applauded for their recent focus on protecting players from illegal hits.

-- But don't be fooled, dear readers, the NFL's new vigilant safety campaign is the beginning of a slippery slope pushing for one thing and one thing only: an 18-game regular season.

-- Looks like we finally have ourselves a Bilbo Baggins for Peter Jackson's highly anticipated prequel The Hobbit. Undercover geeks everywhere rejoice!

-- Hope Peter taps into Leonard Nimoy's Middle Earth musical prowess for the soundtrack.

-- See, readers. I told you I wasn't joking about being a closet dork.

-- Here's a link from the top shelf to convince any remaining naysayers.

-- I'M OLD GREGG!!!

-- It pains me to write, but, Showtime's Dexter has officially jumped the shark.

-- In hopes of climbing to 5-2 and not falling to 4-3, I'm throwing the Cement Shoes on Big Ben and the Steelers (-3) in Miami this weekend.

-- Let's hope Mr. Roethlisberger treats me better than he does undergraduate lushes in college bar bathrooms.

Quick Thinking: 4-1

We come out of the Patriots' bye week up $550.00 with a record of 4-1 thanks to all those Cement Shoes I've been handing out.

But now Week 6 is upon us, dear readers, and the home team is tasked with trying to keep the number in their loss column to 1.

So am I.

-----------------
Quick Thinking
-----------------

-- Quote of the Week is awarded to Creepy Work Guy for telling a small group of us, "Violence isn't a big part of my life anymore, but I did rumble a lot when I was younger."

-- I wonder if Dallas, Sodapop or Pony Boy were part of his crew.



-- Counter Intuitive Advice of the Week tells us that sometimes getting people to hate you is the best life decision you can make for yourself.

-- And for them.

-- Why the fuck do I keep receiving AARP membership cards in the mail?

-- "Justin Timberlake played me in a movie" must be the greatest pickup line Sean Parker has in his repertoire.

-- The millions of dollars from owning 7% of Facebook probably don't hurt, either.

-- Dallas visiting Minnesota, plus a point-and-a-half-a-pimple, will be wearing the Cement Shoes this weekend. I hate having to depend on Playboy Tony, but I'll take him over Brett's old ass any day.

-- Congratulations to Joan Rivers for following in the footsteps of Betty White as Snickers' ad agency's newest reclamation project.

-- Oh, wait. That's not Joan Rivers?



-- Really?

-- My bad.

-- Ben & Jerry's new flavor Milk & Cookies is their greatest ice cream innovation to date

-- Brett should take a cue from Chad OchoCinco and change his last name to PickSix.

-- And he needs to stop taking relationship advice from Greg Oden.

-- ZING!

-- There's no truth to the rumor that hockey season recently began.

-- Oh, wait, that's not a rumor?

-- Shit, I'm off my game today.

-- My bad...again.

-- I'm tired of people getting angry with me by remembering things I've never even said.

-- Or, at least, I don't THINK I said those things.

-- But don't hold me to that.

Quick Thinking: Inspirational Mindo

I supposed a quick explanation is in order for those of you who haven't heard the word "mindo" before.

There's actually not much to explain.

Mindo, pronounced "min-doe," is a simple word that can be used as a verb, noun or adjective. End of story. Inject the word into your vocabulary, dear readers, and try it on for size.

After a little use I'm sure you'll agree the word is, in fact, mindo.

-----------------
Quick Thinking
-----------------

-- The ESPN Monday Night Football hype machine personifies excess.

-- Unless, of course, your team is taking the field on that particular Monday Night.

-- Then it's inspiring.

-- On the bright side, the Red Sox not making the playoffs will help me cope when the Patriots miss the tournament later this year.

-- We're an 8-8 team, Patriot Nation.

-- Embattled quarterback Michael Vick finally came full circle to regain a starting position on an NFL roster.

-- He quickly lost it after sustaining a rib injury diving for the goal line yesterday.

-- Karma: 1. Michael Vick: 0.

-- There's no truth to the rumor that Adam Richman's popular show Man vs. Food will be renamed Man vs. Coronary Disease next season.

-- I got dibs on his host spot when he eventually drops.

-- Quote of the Week goes to Big Slick for his enlightened observation as we started day-drinking following an aggressive night of debauchery, "I don't know if this is possible, but I think I'm hung over AND drunk."

-- There's no truth to the rumor that The Town's climatic shoot out at Fenway Park was loosely based on Theo Epstein and Larry Lucchino's troubled negotiations following the disappointing 2005 season.

-- Cement Shoe Pick of the Week is Pats/Miami Over @ 47.5. Brady needs to throw 3 TDs just to keep the game competitive.

-- His hair will have to throw a few as well to give us a chance at a win.

-- Memo from my blog's Department of Redundancy Department: Mos Def's Umi Says transcends all musical tastes, generations, genres and,when you listen to every word, it inspires.

-- Be inspired.

Quick Thinking: P-A-T-S, Pats, Pats, PATS!

One week does not a season make, dear readers, but while Tom Brady & Co. were serving up a big, heaping bowl of optimism Sunday to Patriot Nation against the Bengals, yours truly was serving up a tasteful concoction of his own to his friendly online sportsbook.

My Week 1 "Lock of Week" -- Pats/Cincy Over -- came in laughably easy.

Let's hope both dishes are still on the menu this Sunday.

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- Hey, Wes, big ups for defying modern medicine, playing Sunday, crossing the plane twice and being the best-known-fantasy-sleeper-pick in 2010.

-- The New York Jets' hype machine hit a Baltimore Raven colored brick wall Monday night.

-- Your message would be better received by Mr. Kraft, Randy, if you shortened your 16 minute rant into a 3 second quip. I'm thinking something like, "Spend cash, homey." would work.

--Zen Question of the Week: Is a hot girl stopped at a traffic light picking her nose still hot? (Answer below)

-- Quote of the Week comes from my Pops for quipping the following while watching the Patriots dismantle Cincinnati on Sunday, "I haven't been this excited about Tight Ends since my days in the armed forces."

-- Apple doesn't fall too far, y'all.

-- The Davalos twins are more proof that god is, in fact, a man.



-- And, apparently, he's an ass man as well.



-- Or, at least, an air-brushed ass man.

[ EDITOR'S NOTE: Despite being void of any nudity, the desired picture punchline violates photobucket's prudish terms of use and can not be displayed. Simply click here to see it and let's pretend this never happened.]

-- Dallas enters yet another season touted as the "most talented team in the league" by media and NFL "experts" alike.

-- Too bad they won't make the playoffs this year.

-- That's right. I said it.

-- Betty White's new 15 minutes of fame will last longer than she does.

-- Yup. I just said that, too.

-- I wouldn't pick Mark Sanchez as my quarterback in a high school fantasy football league.

-- I'd stay clear of Tony Romo, too.

-- The Lock of the Week nod goes to Kansas City (+2.5) @ Cleveland. I'm taking the points in what is sure to be a very close game between two groups of coaches -- all former Patriots' assistants -- who know each other very, very well.

-- Programming Note of the Week: Conan's comeback starts 11/8/10 on TBS.

-- I think I'll show my support my donning a Masturbating Bear costume for Halloween.

-- Zen Answer of the Week: Only if she uses it for lubricant.

-- Despite a great Week 1 showing by their defense, the Patriots will only go as far as Tom Brady and his hair can take them.

-- The viral My Butt Is Big campaign, which focuses on my favorite part of the female anatomy, has been confirmed by Nike as a fake.



-- No hard feelings on this end about being teased by a spurious ad campaign, though. I'm used to women faking things.

Quick Thinking: Progressive Aggressive

We live in a world where every human behavior has been coddled into a "condition" and remedied with a "prescription."

Medication Nation, y'all. Pop a pill and drink it in.

The problem, however, is obvious: some undesirable conduct can't be remedied over-the-counter at your local CVS Pharmacy. So, until the "cure-all" pill is released, I'm starting a lobby to change the negative connotation associated with common human M.O.'s by simply calling them something else.

Let's start this "give-it-a-name" movement with "Passive Aggressive" by renaming it "Progressive Aggressive." That way, all the folks that haven't had enough time to mature can blame a contemporary condition saving them the embarrassing admission of being an adult who still acts like a child.

New & improved name.

Same chicken shit behavior.

------------------
Quick Thinking
------------------

-- You Gotta Be Shittin' Me Award of the Week goes to Shane Van Dyke for writing AND directing Titanic 2 which, by the way, was released straight to DVD on 8/24/10.

-- Yup, you read that right. Titanic 2.

-- I wonder how it ends?

-- Zen Question of the Week asks who's the bigger idiot: The man who writes and directs Titanic 2 or the man who watches it?

-- There's no truth to the rumor that Shane's next project will be Hidenburg 2: Hot Air.

-- Momentum is a fickle mistress.

-- And turns out she's quite the slut, too.

-- Just when I thought "Creepy Work Guy" couldn't get any creepier he shows up on the job wearing a tie with a lingerie-clad Betty Boop in suggestive poses on it.

-- Boop-Boop-Be-Yikes.

-- Big ups to Jessica Alba for finally emerging from her "mommy cave." Welcome back, Jess. We missed you.



-- A lot.

-- Bigger ups to K.!.D. for being cast on Lifetime's new series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Who Wants to be Queer.




-- Shooting starts in October.

-- Dumbest Facebook Status Update of the Week goes to Derrick Merlin Wildstar who recently informed us:



-- Um, what?

-- And why the hell did I accept his friend request? Wizards freak me out.

-- You shall NOT PASS!

-- Memo to All the Road Warriors Out There: I appreciate your homage to Mad Max but you can't have a "Bad Ass" skull and crossbones decal on the back window of the RV you're driving when the vinyl siding is pink.

-- Unless, of course, you're trying to raise your Moron Index.

-- Or, better yet, your OXY Moron Index.

-- RIM SHOT!

-- Oh, Speak & Spell, you'll always have a place in my heart as the greatest babysitting innovation of all time.

-- As well as the "toy" responsible for my fascination with words.

-- And Joshua from War Games.

-- Shall we play a game?

Quick Thinking: Familiarity Breeds...

Fill-in-the-ellipsis accordingly.

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- Few things are more satisfying than seeing your boss as you emerge from the single stall office bathroom following an epic "three flusher" and greeting him with a nod & a smile as he walks in after you.

-- Soak it in, boss man. Soak. It. In.

-- The Red Sox need to win at least 33 of their remaining 46 games to even have a chance at the Playoffs this year.

-- You do the math.

-- Eddie. EDDIE!!! I want to talk to you! Why did you sign with the Miami Heat, EDDIE!?!?!?

-- Eddie Murphy's Raw helped shape my sense of humor.

-- Maybe that's why most of my jokes offend people.

-- Memo to All My Hard Working Ladies: I respect the effort, girls, but just because you're fucking the boss doesn't mean you are the boss.

-- Memo to All My Hard Working Ladies II: On the bright side, though, all those sext messages will come in handy for the inevitable sexual harassment suit following the eventual break up.

-- I need less Will Ferrell on TV promoting his new movie The Other Guys.

-- But I always need more cowbell.

-- Invisalign braces are more discreet than I originally feared.

-- I hope I can have them removed before prom pictures next year, though.

-- There's no truth to the rumor that Gillette's new innuendo-laced "tug and pull" marketing campaign will be replaced by the more direct "it's like a happy ending facial every time you shave."

-- Remember, y'all, if you've ever enjoyed a laugh while reading and you have a facebook account, PLEASE CLICK HERE to become a fan.

-- Quote of the Week goes to a new co-worker who said the following while telling a few folks about a very strict diet that forces her to bring all her food from home, "I used to store nuts in plastic all the time but they'd taste funny by the time I ate them."

-- Check, please.

-- Sometimes playing dumb is the smartest thing to do.

-- Memo to All Members of Men Nation: Wearing clear nail polish is never acceptable.

-- EVER.

-- Welcome to Boston, Shaq. Here's to hoping your effort will match your comedic timing.

-- Now put down the Twinkies and hit the gym.

-- Mullets are an underappreciated art form.

-- I inherently don't trust men who have slicked back hair and wear dress shoes with tassels on them.

-- They're just plain creepy.

-- Then again, I guess I really don't trust anyone. But men with slicked back hair and tasseled dress shoes are at the top of my list.

-- That's right, Bad Touch. I'm talking to you. And, no, you can't have my home address.

-- Stop asking.

Quick Thinking: Dollar Day

Each sports + thoughts blog I write offers me the relief of cathartic writing and, hopefully, makes a few of you laugh. (On rare occasions, dear readers, it may even make you think.)

But the ultimate goal of sports + thoughts is to help its author realize a dream of becoming a full-time writer for a newspaper or media outlet.

That said, I know more folks are reading my blog than are officially "following" me and I need to get my numbers up. But doing so via blogger.com is follower prohibitive.

Too many friggin' steps.

In order to combat that issue I've created a fan page on facebook. So, if you've ever enjoyed a laugh (or two) while reading a blog from sports + thoughts and you have a facebook account,
PLEASE CLICK HERE to become a fan and help a wannabe writer attempt to manifest destiny.

Or, at the very least, manufacture it.

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- So long, 2010 Red Sox. We hardly knew ya.

-- Chelsea Baker's knuckle ball is the latest example that "throwing like a girl" isn't necessarily a bad thing.

-- Keep spinning 'em, Chelsea.

-- As is the case with most award shows, the ESPYs didn't live up to the marketing hype or the red carpet circus that preceded it.

-- Brooklyn Decker in her pink dress, on the other hand...



-- R.I.P. Emmanuelle Chriqui from atop my celebrity crush list.

-- Quote of the Week comes from my uncle, a soon-to-be-retired state worker, who quipped the following as we watched a few RI magistrates mingle with some very young ladies at a wedding we attended this weekend: "If you grab a camera and take a few pictures, we'll both be living off a state pension for the rest of our lives."

-- I was too busy making sure gin & tonic didn't fly out my nose to snap any photos.

-- Sage Advice of the Week comes from the Mighty Mos and goes out to Jacoby Ellsbury following his "Nu-uh" Press Conference last week: Don't talk about it. Be about it.

-- Peace.

-- Your toughness and desire to play are both in question, Jakey, and are officially "on the clock."

-- But, hey, at least the pink hats still think you're dreamy.

-- There's no truth to the rumor that Mel Gibson has landed the lead role in Cyrano de Bergerac on Broadway this winter.

-- On the bright side, Mel, you seem to be aging gracefully.

-- All joking aside, Mr. Gibson, it appears you've gotten your heart broken and money taken by a very attractive woman. Happens to the best of us.

-- Get over it.

-- And try counting to ten a few times.

-- Weddings are a bizarre social ritual.

-- So is a Maid of Honor speech that lasts 12 minutes.

-- Quote of the Week II comes from Gl!derman who, when asked the following question by yours truly via text: "My sister-in-law just sent me a friend request on facebook. Your thoughts?" responded, "Early signs of the Apocalypse."

-- 2012 is right around the corner. I guess it's time to start those Bucket Lists...

-- Benicio Del Torro's accent in The Wolfman shows how far he's come since playing Fenster in The Usual Suspects.

-- He'll flip you. Flip you for real.

-- On second thought, let's not be too hasty...

Quick Thinking: Our Daily Bread

There's talk of the "Chosen One" announcing His intentions for the upcoming NBA Season at 9pm tonight on ESPN. I, for one, can't wait to hear the decision. It's not everyday one gets to witness a modern day deity performing His good deeds on cable, right?

I will be tuning in to the sermon, dear readers, and you should too. A miracle of this magnitude needs to be considered a once-in-a-lifetime event. I mean, he's the "Chosen One" and which team He decides to grace His presence with next season is of critical importance.

Can I get an "Amen!?!?"

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- Hot Shots 2 is video game golfing in its purest form.

-- The New England Patriots open training camp on Thursday, July 29.

-- Awesome.

-- Mr. Ainge resigning Paul and Ray helps prove the age old adage that history, does indeed, repeat itself.

-- You should know better, Danny.

-- Quote of the Week comes from a conversation I heard two movers have while carrying a neighbor's piano to their truck on Tuesday, "It's so hot, I'm gonna sweat the black right out of me."

-- The downfall of former Oakland Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell, who was arrested Monday for possession of a controlled substance, continues at an alarming rate.

-- Ditch the Sizzurp and go with Dimetapp to avoid the fuzz next time, J.R.

-- One can never really appreciate how much they flatulate while sleeping until a heat wave forces overnight bedroom circulation to be limited by a closed door and a window sized air conditioning unit.

-- Glade PlugIns are no match for the home grown, organic air freshener I like to call "Fartsicle."

-- Nothing like a nose full of shit particles to help start the day, right?

-- Speaking of having a nose full of shit particles, have you seen the new SNL Digital Short Great Day?

-- There's no truth to the rumor that it depicts a day in the life of Central Falls politics.

-- That's right. I said it.

Quick Thinking: Go Team!

We need to stop the madness, dear readers. Please.

Stop. The. Madness.

Choosing sides of some fictitious battle between wolves and bats has become an unhealthy distraction for some of you and, as a result, I'm forced to start a counter-attack in hopes of balancing the scales. So, that said: fuck Team Jacob. And Team Edward, for that matter.

That's right. I said it.

I'm on Team Terrence.

And I encourage all of you to be an active participant on Your Team, too.

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- The dog days are right around the corner with the Yanks, Sox and Rays separated by a P-hair, or 1.5 games, atop the AL East.

-- Anticipate accordingly.

-- Landon Donovan is further proof that having a hot wife doesn't preclude infidelity.



-- Memo to Tom Brady: Please cut your hair and start acting more like the 3-time Super Bowl Champion we've all come to love and less like the supermodel wife we've grown far too familiar with seeing lately.

-- Just because a person is skilled at telling stories doesn't mean every story they tell is a "story." Know what I'm saying?

-- How I Got Over, the latest installment of The Roots' musical evolution, will invade your brain with its hooks, beats and choruses.

-- Right On.

-- Language Barrier Quote of the Week goes to my new colleague Patrick Cartier for saying the following when attempting to order a post training session libation at a Mexican restaurant in Newington, CT, "Can I have a glass of cerveza, please."

-- At least he used "gracias" correctly.

-- Not as embarrassing as the time I attempted to order "Apple Pie a la mode with ice cream" from T.G.I. Fridays back in '91.

-- Needless to say, my date took 2nd base off her menu later that night on account of my idiocy.

-- True story.

-- I'm tired of hearing about referees dictating the outcome of sporting events.

-- Regardless of the sport.

-- Vampires and werewolves engaged in an epic Shakespearean battle for the affection of a woman is fiction, ladies.

-- And bad fiction at that.

-- Am I the only one fighting a strong urge to say "for the pushin'" whenever someone says "cushion?"

-- FOR THE PUSHIN'!!!!!!

-- I know, I know...it's juvenile.

-- Pull my finger and we'll talk about it.

* extends finger *

Quick Thinking: Mandatory Sentencing

The Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers -- with 32 Championships between them -- are squaring off in Game 7 of the NBA Finals tonight. And, while rigid rules aren't my favorite thing, tonight's event requires me to impose the following ultimatum: Any member of Guy Nation who doesn't watch Game 7 tonight forfeits their Man Card.

That's right, I said it.

I'm not going to give you a list of reasons why, fellas. The statement is self-evident. I will, however, answer one question.

Yes, in the back. What's your question?

Good grief. If I had a digital eraser I would whip it at your head. Lucky for you, even if I did, my aim isn't that great. Plus, anger is no match for the pedagogic responsibility compelling me to answer your inquiry regardless of how weak it is. After all, you're a part of Guy Nation and, as we all know, Guy Nation is only as smart as its dumbest member.

The reason these rules don't apply to women is because, well, they're women. Any effort from the sweeter sex to watch sports is a bonus for all inhabitants of Guy Nation. A major bonus, in fact.

Duh.

So, stupid questions aside, brethren, I implore you to heed my words: If you've ever attempted a urinal cake melt and you're not watching Game 7 of the NBA Finals tonight I'll be forced to revoke your Man Card.

Permanently.

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- The NBA is so crooked I almost feel bad for my bookie.

-- Almost.

-- Sometimes the best "inside joke" is the one only you know about.

-- It bothers me the hip-hop duo Pete Philly & Perquisite, along with their absolute jam Hope, featuring Talib Kweli, have flown under my radar since 2005 because of record label marketing machines that control society's music consumption.

-- But I can't turn on a radio without hearing the musical shit sandwich that is Justin Bieber.

-- Double U. Tee. Eff.

-- Epic Failure Award of the Week goes to the gentleman at Karta Bar last Thursday who, while on an obvious first date, ordered a salad with a sugar-rimmed martini glass chaser while the attractive young lady he dined with was served a burger and scotch on the rocks.

-- True story.

-- Memo to All the Ladies: Hitting the treadmill wearing a sports bra may be uncomfortable on hot & humid days but at least you never have to worry about your balls sticking to your leg.

-- And then sitting on them.

-- Ouchie.

-- I'd take "bouncing" pain over the "getting sat on" variety any day of the week.

-- Allowing others to be correct when predicting your behavior provides them with a false sense of intelligence that is easily manipulated.

-- I hope Joe Montana is getting a hefty check from Sketchers for their new marketing campaign because he tarnishes his legacy with every commercial I see.

-- I don't think a man with unusually small hands can really be considered a man.

-- A Man Card can't be bigger than the man hands holding it, chief.

-- Celebrity Look A Like of the Week goes to Pau Gasol for looking like a real life version of Abu from Disney's Aladdin.



-- After fielding the question for nearly 20 years I need to say - once and for all - I am, unequivocally, an ass man.

-- And, no. Not in a gay way.

-- Unless, of course, it's really cold outside.

-- Brrrr.

Photo Finish

The epic failure of a fellow runner who attempted to capture the last moments of my Run To Home Base experience is forgiven because, finally, it's official: I have photographic proof of crossing home plate at storied Fenway Park.



And, apparently, I was too winded to field any questions from the media.

Quick Thinking: House Party

The perennial phrase "keep the change" -- a euphemism commonly used by men when describing or inquiring about oral sex -- needs to be retired.

The shine is gone. The luster is lost. The honeymoon is over.

In its absence I offer the idiom "take it to the house."

"Why?"

Valid question.

Below is my valid retort.

[ HERE'S WHY: START ]

Fellatio can be compared, in sports terms, to a great catch made by a wide receiver.

Any great catch.

Even a catch made behind the line of scrimmage, for a loss, makes Top Plays on ESPN if it was great. Greatness helps ratings, y'all. But you know what makes any great catch even better? When a receiver scores a touchdown by taking said catch to the end zone, or rather, the house.

So fellatio is the catch while taking that catch to the house is, well, taking it to the house.

Seems simple to me.

[ HERE'S WHY: END ]

So ladies I implore...no, wait. All of Guy Nation implores you: If you're not prepared to "take it to the house" please don't make the catch.

Or you might have to take one in the face, instead.

HAYY-OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

------------------
Quick Thinking
------------------

-- Seeing Wes Welker participating in agility drills and running routes in June can only mean good things for the Patriots this season.

-- Same goes for Randy Moss in a contract year.

-- It took me 4 attempts and 8 days to finish watching Avatar.

-- Worst ROI movie of all time.

-- It's ok, Jim. Us Joyces are prone to making questionable calls.

-- Quote of the Week goes to NBA Analyst Avery Johnson while discussing the best game plan for beating the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals, "Rajon Rondo is the head of the snake. And, when you take away the head of the snake, you take away the engine of the car."

-- Um, what?

-- Be careful when mixing those metaphors, Mr. Johnson. Someone could get hurt.

-- I like the Celtics in 6 so long as Samuel L. Jackson doesn't attend
one game in L.A.

-- See what I did there?

-- Violence may not always be the answer.

-- But sometimes it helps to raise the right questions.

-- Attention Starved Douchebag Award of the Week goes to that guy at my gym who was wearing his mirrored aviators while working out on Tuesday.

-- I'd bet a winning Powerball ticket Highway to the Dangerzone is the only song playing on his iPod shuffle.

-- I'm also guessing he refers to himself in the 3rd person.

-- And to his manhood as "Maverick."

-- It's still a bit weak, but the Red Sox have a pulse.

-- Speaking of the baseball, Quote of the Week II comes from my mother - Connie Lee - while discussing the current state of Sox Nation, "I just hope they didn't blow their load when sweeping the Rays in Tampa."

-- Thanks for the insight, Momma.

-- And the future therapy bills.

-- No matter how hard you try, ESPN & Bono, I won't be watching World Cup soccer.

-- Celebrity Look A Like of the Week goes to Big Baby Davis for being the spitting image of Glass Joe from Nintendo's Punch Out!!!



-- Ok, you're right, they look nothing alike. But they both react the same way to a shot in the face.

-- Speaking of taking shots to the face...

Digital Diary: Run To Home Base

The inaugural Run To Home Base 9k took place in Boston at Fenway Park on May 23rd, 2010.

Yours truly was there with disposable camera in hand.

And, while my photography skills are considered weak by most standards, I ran with said camera in an attempt to capture some digital memories of my journey from a Yawkey Way starting line to a finish across home plate in the most storied ballpark in baseball.

Ready...set...go!

[ DIGITAL DIARY: START ]

-----------
7:08 am
-----------

The calm before storm. I've been in Fenway Park several times over the years and I've never seen it this quiet.



Ever.

-----------
7:46 am
-----------

Felt more like livestock being corralled than runners being directed to our starting position.



Moo.

-----------
8:11 am
-----------

My view along with a bird's eye view of my starting position.





Still not sure what may have prevented the gentlemen outside the gates from running.

-----------
8:29 am
-----------

The first turn around the 2 mile mark.



Stepping back and seeing so many people running toward me on the left and away from me on the right gets lost in photographic translation.

What doesn't get lost in translation, however, is the vivid memory I have of Special Ed's I Got It Made pumping in my shuffle as I made my first picture stop. Still the only song in history to rhyme "potato 'n alligator souffle."

I got it made.

-----------
8:42 am
-----------

The gentlemen in the red shirt was running in place on his patio as we all ran by and stopped the moment I attempted to catch him on film.

I didn't get a picture of Mr. Red Shirt flipping me the bird while I tucked my camera back in my shorts either.



Now I know how the paparazzi feels.

-----------
8:58 am
-----------

Heading through the tunnel that connects Landsdowne Street and center field in Fenway. I had goosebumps.



And I really had to pee.

-----------
9:04 am
-----------

This is the closest I could get to the Green Monster after crossing the finish line in a mediocre 47:36. My hope was to get a long shot of runners emerging from the tunnel but volunteer staff prevented me from getting said angle.



Ok, you got me. I wasn't trying to get a picture. I was trying to gain access to the scoreboard door inside the Monstah.

Fail.

-----------
9:10 am
-----------

The post race trying-to-cross-home-plate bottleneck.



Tough to distinguish where the runners stop and the stadium crowd starts.

-----------
9:27 am
-----------

Finally. Home plate: where all the magic happens.

I made a deal with the runner in front of me. I promised him I'd take a shot of his feet touching home plate if he would grab the camera and take a shot of mine doing the same.

I lived up to my end of the deal.



He didn't.



(Maybe my camera skills aren't so bad after all.)

-----------
9:34 am
-----------

Soaking in the sun on the infield of Fenway Park.



Still really had to go pee, though.

-----------
9:38 am
-----------

A fellow runner was nice enough to take a picture of me before exiting the field.



Should have asked her to take that shot of me crossing home plate.

Running for a good cause was great. Participating in the inaugural Run To Home Base 9k was an honor. But the best part of the entire day was being on the field at Fenway Park.

Without security chasing me.

[ DIGITAL DIARY: END ]

So it's finally over.

I've done so in the past but I'd like to send another sincere thank you to all the folks who donated. Not only did you help veterans suffering from PTSD and other head trauma related ailments, you also bestowed me with the opportunity to enjoy an experience of a lifetime.

Thank you.

Quick Thinking: No One Likes a Tattletail

A respected family member once told me "believe nothing you hear and half of what you see." The fact that she didn't coin the phrase doesn't minimize the truth ringing through it. With her sage instruction in mind, I'd like to offer my own slice-of-life advice to all of you:

"Believe nothing you hear, half of what you see and mind your own fucking business."

And we're off...

-------------------
Quick Thinking
-------------------

-- Never minimize the complicated nuances of an individual's life thinking you, as an outsider, can understand them by looking at a few online photographs.

-- Or by attempting to go through their iPhone.

-- Yes. You.

-- Password is 6447 by the way.

-- The only way Orlando has a chance against the Celtics is if they hire the Gillooly boys to go all "Tonya Harding" on Rondo's knee.

-- Why?

-- Whhy?

-- Whhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy?

-- While all of us are made up of between 55 and 75 % water, most of us are made up of 100 % Haterade.

-- Keep drinking it in, y'all. Keep drinking it in.

-- Birthdays just aren't that important to me.

-- Celtics vs. Lakers in the NBA Finals is inevitable.

-- I've never seen one episode of Lost.

-- In fact, I've never even seen one minute of one episode of Lost.

-- And, thanks to Josh Elliott and ESPN, I never will.

-- People who live their lives focused on other people's lives are a sad lot.

-- Smart Water, indeed.



-- Douchebag Award of the Week goes to yours truly for, well, being a douchebag.

-- If she was my wife, I wouldn't care about earning a parking spot for off season workout participation either.



-- Quote of the Week comes from the mighty Mos Def while rhyming on Common's track Questions, "How you got high expectations but got low patience?"

-- Ponder accordingly.

-- It's a good thing Magic Johnson could play because he can't analyze a game worth shit.

-- The Boston Bruins losing both game 7 and the series after leading 3-0 in each is further proof that sports gods exist.

-- And, apparently, they're not part of Bruin Nation.

-- But neither am I.

-- At least Floyd Landis isn't bitter or anything.

-- If Landis' claims are as "bullshit" as Lance says they are, Mr. Armstrong should simply dismiss them instead of having an impromptu press conference asserting his innocence.

-- Like most things on the Internet, Mr. Skin is pretty useless. Any heterosexual worth his merit inherently remembers nude scenes of attractive starlets.

-- I've said it once and I'll say it again: John Papelbon is the proverbial albatross hanging around the neck of the Sox bullpen.

-- I'm not sure what's worse: Hooters threatening to fire employees based on weight or these "chubby" attention whores going to local news stations to complain about it.

-- Feels like a marketing ploy to me.

-- The irony, of course, is "the camera" tends to add ten pounds.

-- Memo to TMZ Nation: Pictures of newly crowed Miss America, Rima Fakih, from 2007 dancing on a stripper pole shouldn't be considered "newsworthy."

-- You show me a beauty pageant winner and I'll show you 10 guys who have pictures and/or videos of her doing things her father wouldn't approve of.

-- Shit, they should just add an "Inappropriate Media" category to all future pageants and showcase contestants' lewd and lascivious behavior.

-- Might even help with ratings, Donald.

-- Turns out LeBron's playoff performance suffered from rumors surrounding his mother's love life and not from an injured elbow as was originally speculated.

-- I mean, I get it. Would you be able to concentrate on your job if a co-worker who looked like DaLonte West was sleeping with your mom?



-- Exactly.

-- HEY YOU GUUUUYYYYSSSSSS!!!

Quick Thinking: Birthday Edition

This year's birthday finally brings me a gift I've been waiting for my entire life.

Maturity.

And for my next trick...

-----------------------
Quick Thinking
-----------------------

-- The recreational sports one plays can be a strong indicator of their age.

-- My competitive juices were firing while bowling last night.

-- On the Wii.

-- And I'm really quite sore today.

-- Douchebag Award of the Week goes to Ben Roethlisberger for, well, being a douchebag.

-- As another birthday creeps up on me, I'm thankful I've been blessed with hairpants to cover the current state of my old, saggy ass.

-- My Calvin Klein's look like a pillow case without enough pillow.

-- With a vicious 5 o'clock shadow.

-- Curt Shilling, the most recent addition to ESPN's baseball coverage crew, doesn't look like a guy who could throw a wiffle ball past my nephew, let alone be one of the most feared former aces in recent MLB history.

-- Hey, Curt, I hear Nutrisystem is in the market for a new spokesman.

-- I wonder what kind of over-the-top superlatives Johnny Most would be using for Rondo's performance this postseason.

-- Memo to all you "studs" out there: Having sex with a promiscuous girl, even a really hot one, isn't an accomplishment, fellas.

-- It's inevitable.

-- Celebrity Look A Like Award of the Week goes to yours truly for resembling Lloyd Christmas during my youth.



-- Apparently, in addition to the bowl cut, prepping for picture day in '80 involved shaving my eyebrows.

-- ESPN's ScoreCenter is my new favorite iPhone app.

-- The push notifications for "myTeams" -- Sox, Celts and Bruins -- relieve the hassle of clicking back-and-forth between channels when 2 are engaged in epic playoff battles and the other is playing in the most heated rivalry in sports.

-- I never had the chance to study "Anonymous" during my English major career at Providence College, but he or she certainly has some good quotes floating around.

-- The Bridge, a movie documenting the tragic truth that the Golden Gate Bridge is the world's suicide destination, is a sobering narrative on how fragile the human condition is.

-- Polarizing people tend to acquire a handful of lifelong friends during their journey.

-- But polarizing people also have a tendency, by their very nature, to leave a long list of enemies in their wake.

-- Someone recently told me I was polarizing.

Revenge of the Magi

I locked eyes with Eric Robichaud at a movie theater on Saturday for the first time since we stood across from each other in a courthouse room back in 2003. Eric is a former employer who sued me and my long-time friend, Sean Follick, when we incorporated our own business, Magi New Media, in 2002.

[ SIDE NOTE: START ]

Just because I hadn't seen Eric in the flesh since 2003 doesn't mean I didn't attempt to communicate with him.

In 2005, there was a billboard with Eric's likeness over I-195 promoting Cox Small Business Solutions. Upon seeing said billboard, I sent Mr. Robichaud a congratulatory note on Magi New Media letterhead that read:

Eric,

I saw your big as life picture over I-195. Congratulations on your continued success.

It seems appropriate that Cox has a dick for a spokesman.

Best Regards,
-- terrence

True story.

[ SIDE NOTE: END ]

It's incredible the amount of genuine hate I still have for this man after all these years.

Eric, Sean and I started as colleagues. Eric was the CEO of a successful, family-owned development company in Woonsocket, RI. Sean served as the Sales Manager while I filled the role of Production Manager. After nearly 3 years of working together we developed, what I thought to be, a reasonably strong friendship along with mutual professional successes. But things started to fall apart when Eric began a tryst with one of Mediaweave's newly hired Sales Associates.

[ SIDE NOTE II: START ]

I use the phrase "Sales Associate" loosely. Tonya didn't close one deal during our shared tenure at Mediaweave.

Except, of course, the one with CEO Robichaud's libido resulting in his divorce and, ultimately, the demise of his company.

[ SIDE NOTE II: END ]

After Tonya infiltrated our ranks, everything changed. Eric, the workaholic, started being late. Then he started to miss meetings. Eventually, he stopped coming to the office all together. Then he was served papers for divorce by his angry wife, Becky, who was Mediaweave's bookkeeper.

In the midst of this mess, Eric moved in with Sean to cut personal costs. Then he started dancing. Shortly thereafter, Eric and Tonya bought a house together and guess who had to help move them? The three of us had countless conversations discussing the state of the company, possible solutions, and a plan for sustained success despite Eric's domestic turmoils.

Then it happened: 9/11.

The post 9/11 economy was difficult, to say the least, and Mediaweave's business suffered. The tipping point came in the from of an employee coup when it was learned Eric was plugging his losses by withholding payments into employee benefit packages. Sean and I knew the business would not survive this type of activity and we needed to do something. And that something manifested itself in the form of Magi New Media.



The plan for Magi -- the wise men from the east -- was to help Sean and I bridge our careers during the collapse, and hopeful resurrection, of Mediaweave. Ultimately, our plan was to use Mediaweave as our main contractor for client jobs secured through Magi. We even sat with Eric to disclose our intentions and he welcomed both our honesty and commitment to not "fully abondon" our current posts with his company.

Sean and I were escorted from our desks and off the premises 2 days later.

Our friendship with Eric, now fractured and irreparably damaged, Sean and I did the only thing we could do: focus on building Magi New Media. We developed our web site. We found 2 investors who would support us with their small business know-how and office space. We even closed a few deals and were getting meetings with "potentials."

Then it happened: Eric sued us.

The thing is, Eric didn't have a case. He sued us for violating non-compete agreements that Sean and I never signed. And the reason we didn't sign them? They didn't exist. Eric's goal was as transparent as is was simple: to drain our limited start-up capital.

He succeeded.

The depositions, legal fees and monetary settlement that my partners and I accepted in order to end the proceedings so we could focus on growing our new business reduced start-up capital by 1/4.

[ SIDE NOTE III: START ]

Magi survived the courtroom drama and was a moderate success. But, ultimately, the services we offered were viewed as a "luxury" in the post 9/11 world we all inhabited and, despite the high quality work Magi was producing, we closed our doors after about 2 1/2 years of operation. Sean and I lost sleep, money, time, hair, energy & years of friendship following the failure of Magi.

Shit, I nearly lost my life.

The stresses associated with our company -- even though it was formed with the best of intentions -- proved to be more than either of us could bear.

[ SIDE NOTE III: END ]

They say living well is the best revenge.

I guess looking him in the eye while he realized who I was and watching him signal to his children to turn around and walk the other way ended Saturday's episode. But, regardless of the small satisfaction allowed by the end of our recent encounter, I would still welcome the opportunity of 10 minutes alone with Mr. Robichaud in a room without cameras.

And not in a gay way.