One week does not a season make, dear readers, but while Tom Brady & Co. were serving up a big, heaping bowl of optimism Sunday to Patriot Nation against the Bengals, yours truly was serving up a tasteful concoction of his own to his friendly online sportsbook.
My Week 1 "Lock of Week" -- Pats/Cincy Over -- came in laughably easy.
Let's hope both dishes are still on the menu this Sunday.
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Quick Thinking
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-- Hey, Wes, big ups for defying modern medicine, playing Sunday, crossing the plane twice and being the best-known-fantasy-sleeper-pick in 2010.
-- The New York Jets' hype machine hit a Baltimore Raven colored brick wall Monday night.
-- Your message would be better received by Mr. Kraft, Randy, if you shortened your 16 minute rant into a 3 second quip. I'm thinking something like, "Spend cash, homey." would work.
--Zen Question of the Week: Is a hot girl stopped at a traffic light picking her nose still hot? (Answer below)
-- Quote of the Week comes from my Pops for quipping the following while watching the Patriots dismantle Cincinnati on Sunday, "I haven't been this excited about Tight Ends since my days in the armed forces."
-- Apple doesn't fall too far, y'all.
-- The Davalos twins are more proof that god is, in fact, a man.
-- And, apparently, he's an ass man as well.
-- Or, at least, an air-brushed ass man.
[ EDITOR'S NOTE: Despite being void of any nudity, the desired picture punchline violates photobucket's prudish terms of use and can not be displayed. Simply click here to see it and let's pretend this never happened.]
-- Dallas enters yet another season touted as the "most talented team in the league" by media and NFL "experts" alike.
-- Too bad they won't make the playoffs this year.
-- That's right. I said it.
-- Betty White's new 15 minutes of fame will last longer than she does.
-- Yup. I just said that, too.
-- I wouldn't pick Mark Sanchez as my quarterback in a high school fantasy football league.
-- I'd stay clear of Tony Romo, too.
-- The Lock of the Week nod goes to Kansas City (+2.5) @ Cleveland. I'm taking the points in what is sure to be a very close game between two groups of coaches -- all former Patriots' assistants -- who know each other very, very well.
-- Programming Note of the Week: Conan's comeback starts 11/8/10 on TBS.
-- I think I'll show my support my donning a Masturbating Bear costume for Halloween.
-- Zen Answer of the Week: Only if she uses it for lubricant.
-- Despite a great Week 1 showing by their defense, the Patriots will only go as far as Tom Brady and his hair can take them.
-- The viral My Butt Is Big campaign, which focuses on my favorite part of the female anatomy, has been confirmed by Nike as a fake.
-- No hard feelings on this end about being teased by a spurious ad campaign, though. I'm used to women faking things.
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