Quick Thinking: Let's Go Have a Goddamn Snack

I know one game does not a season make but, since HBO's Hard Knocks aired this summer, the Jets have been crowned as the class of the AFC and, by a majority of media outlets, as the "best team in football."

So where do they stand following a 45-3 drubbing at the hands of the Patriots on Monday Night Football? Were the wheels officially hammered off the hype machine or did a great team simply have a bad game?

I don't know.

What I do know, however, is that while I enjoyed the ass-kicking as much as any other in Patriot Nation, the victory - in and of itself - means very little. It wasn't a playoff win. It wasn't a championship win. It was one game. And, as we all know, one game does not a season make.

Unless it's the Super Bowl.

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Quick Thinking
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-- The signing of Carl Crawford means Jacoby Dreamboat just became Jacoby Tradebait.

-- It also means the age old adage, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" is Theo's new battle cry.

-- Looks like you need some more milk to wash down all that humble pie you were served on Monday night, Rex.

-- I'd recommend sticking to the skim variety.

-- Hey, Brett, at least the interception fever that has ended your previous 3 seasons can't stop your egomaniacal run toward 300 consecutive games started.

-- You may have sustained some injuries but at least you haven't tarnished your legacy in the process or anything.

-- NOT!!!

-- The respective performances of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning over the past 3 weeks with both throwing to sub-par receivers should end the debate on who the better quarterback is.

-- Tom is so good right now he's even transforming "questionable post-game wardrobe decisions" into "trendy male fashions." Let's hope he can pull off wearing the Cement Shoes (-3) this weekend in Chi-town.

-- If you haven't seen Jimmy Fallon, JT & The Roots perform The History of Rap than you NEED to.

-- Now.

-- Randy Moss being traded has turned out to be the greatest example of addition by subtraction since J.R. was shot on Dallas.

-- I'm guessing Randy wishes it was all a dream, too.

-- Why are all the ladies screaming? Did Bradley Cooper just take his shirt off or something?

-- Shit. He did?

-- Ok, fine. I'll give this one up to all my female readers out there. Have fun soaking it in, ladies.



[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sorry, ladies. I tried. But photobucket is the law around these parts.]

-- But the sound I was referring to was the collective cheer heard from Woman Nation on Sunday following the sumo chop Haloti Ngata used to break Mr. Roethlisberger's nose.

-- The irony, of course, is after getting his nose broken, trapping drunk co-eds in bathrooms while his entourage stands guard is now officially Big Ben's only recourse when he feels like getting "lucky."

-- Too soon?

-- I mean, c'mon, if there was an "e" at the end of his "rap" BEFORE his nose looked like a right angle...

-- Obligatory photos of three incredibly hot women.









-- I know the above pictures were void of any witty introduction. But, as we all know, one shirtless man needs to be balanced out by three hot women.

-- Sorry, ladies, I don't make the rules. I simply try to follow them.