Quick Thinking: Beginning of the End of the Start of the Beginning

I've been fighting a battle, dear readers. One that only family members really know about. But, since the entire ordeal is coming to an end very soon, it's time for me to do my cathartic writing thing.

I'm getting a divorce, y'all.

And, while speculation, rumors and conjecture will surely swirl, you won't hear me discuss it in any meaningful way. I'm struggling with it a bit so I'll make jokes, for sure. That's my coping mechanism. But offering insight or rationale on a situation that lacks both would be folly.

At the end of the day, the relationship was built largely on perception rather than reality. It was nothing more than a social media house of cards that lacked any semblance of a sustainable foundation.

The track Taxi, by my man Mos Def featuring Whosane, desribes it best. If you listen to the entire song -- really listen -- it provides, eerily, a more accurate summary than my babbling ever could. Especially the final few lines.

Taxi!

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Quick Thinking
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-- Watching the pieces fall together for another Patriots Super Bowl run has been more satisfying this year than any other.

-- Star Wars: The Force Awakens delivers on the hyped promise.

-- And Ms. Daisy Ridley, who plays Rey, is an absolute superstar in the making.

-- So is that Han Solo guy.

-- Princess Leia's expressionless face freaked me out, though.

-- Apparently botox works better than "the force" on her wrinkles.

-- Silver Lining Note of the Week: My second marriage lasted 7 times longer than my first.

-- If only I could say the same for the stamina in my sex life over the years. #45secondsofthunder

-- Having two general managers for your fantasy football roster provides the structure of checks-and-balances essential for success.

-- Or at least a second place spot after 15 weeks.

-- If only I was as proficient at picking wives as I am at bargain fantasy quarterbacks. #bortlesforabuck

-- Or at naming said fantasy football team.

-- We're team My Ball Zach Ertz, by the way.

-- Recently learned some people emphatically referred to me as "TJ" because they felt "Terrence" sounded too ethnic.

-- I guess growing up in Central Falls and having an affinity for hip-hop paints a picture for some. #perception

-- Rediscovering oneself is the greatest gift chosen solitude provides.

-- Especially in the shower. 

-- HAY-OOOO!!

Quick Thinking: November Reigned

Life's journey is wrought with pitfalls, y'all. And I'm not talking about the scorpion-and-goldbar-laden kind Harry could see coming during his epic Atari-based adventure. I'm talking about the ones that seem to happen for no reason.

No contact.

No build-up.

No preparation.

No alligator pits.

No swinging vines hanging over quicksand.

Nothing at all to indicate something bad may be coming around the next corner: just -- BOOM! -- and you're in a life altering shit storm.

[SIDE NOTE: START]

Think Dion Lewis' knee injury but without the new 1.2 million guaranteed contract. Or Jon Snow getting hornswoggled by his Night's Watch brethren without the power to warg.

"Ghost."

[SIDE NOTE: END]

And when those pitfalls come your way, dear readers, I have one bit of advice: laugh. Not because pitfalls and challenges are funny. Blowing out a knee or being stabbed certainly isn't. Neither is being the target of someone's failed botox treatment or Audi-envy revenge tour.

Trust me.

Laugh because of the world we live in. One where the color of a cup or the psi in a ball can dominate headlines becoming more polarizing than the death of the middle class, the decaying worth of hard work or the failing education system.

We live in a world where folks are so entrenched in how they look in a selfie that they've lost all connection with who the person behind the selfie is. Cycle that mentality with a controlling news stream based on fear followed by commercials touting magical pills to "make it all better" or magazine stands focused on why we're ugly next to the booze you can buy to placate and folks become too stupid to change anything in their world.

Other than the photo filter of that selfie they just snapped on the phone-they-just-bought-that's-exactly-like-the-6-month-old-phone-they-had, of course.

That means, until someone develops a filter to fix how self absorbed and ignorant most people are, the world will continue as is. Folks don't want to challenge themselves or anyone else to change. They only want the same simplicity of scapegoats and blame -- similar to most every news story they're fed -- to comfort their own lack of self awareness. It's a sad state really. One where laughter becomes the only remedy to combat all the absurdity.

The occasional orgasm probably doesn't hurt either.

Or so I'm told.

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Quick Thinking
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-- The only red cups I cared about this week were bouncing down the runway at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on Tuesday.

-- They certainly say more about the holiday spirit than Starbucks.

-- The New England Patriots repeat chances took a big hit when Dion Lewis went down with an ACL tear during Sunday's contest against the Washington Redskins.

-- The real sad part is his single fall trumped the amount of times my ex went down over the past three years.

-- True story.

-- Speaking of failed fantasies, my fantasy football team's season high 2-game win streak was overshadowed by losing both Ben Roethlisberger and Dion Lewis on the same day.

-- RIP to my 2015 season.

-- But, just like I've been telling myself concerning most things in my life these days: there's always next year!

-- Shia LeBeouf Live is the most splendid video to hit the internet since Old Gregg back in '07.

-- Well, other than porn of course.

-- Oh, and the new Star Wars trailer.



-- Speaking of Star Wars fever, you know Disney has gone too far with their licensing when you can buy C3P0 sex toys.

-- The Force Awakens, indeed.

Quick Thinking: Fantasy World

The hard truth is just that, dear readers. It's hard. As the saying goes, truth in any form passes through 3 stages. The first of which is dismissive ridicule. (Phrases like, "You're crazy!" are probably common in this stage.) The second is violent opposition. (Violent being the operative word there.) And, finally, the third stage is self-evident acceptance. (Yes sir. Thank you, sir.)

Think about that for a second.

That means any idea, concern, question, or hunch you've ever had -- all potential truths -- are violently opposed before acceptance. Not only opposed but violently opposed. And that opposition could last weeks. Maybe even years. Then all that anger and violence ceases and somehow evolves into the equivalent of a "no duh" epiphany? 

[SIDE NOTE: START]

Ancient Greek cultures called that moment "Metanoia" or the "Ah-Ha" moment. 

[SIDE NOTE: END]

The goal of violence, while generally complicated, is simple in this equation. It's all about prevention. The hope, of course, is that said opposition is never greater than the truth it opposes. But it must have won a few times, right? Team Opposition can't be scoreless this far into the game. Makes you wonder how many truths that exist in this world didn't reach the final stage of their self-evident journey.

So as you wrestle with your life's questions, remember answers -- or, rather, truths -- aren't ever going to be revealed easily, y'all. Ever. But that doesn't mean your truth doesn't really exist. 

It simply means it doesn't exist yet.

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Quick Thinking
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-- I hope running back Dion Lewis doesn't end up on the cutting room floor as preseason comes to a close. 

-- He reminds me a lot of Danny Woodhead.

-- Only bigger and quicker.

-- No pun intended.

-- His iconic number doesn't hurt either. #larrylegend

-- The Washington Redskins are systematically damaging Robert Griffin III's career. 

-- They're also damaging his future health.

-- Don't believe me? 

-- Just ask Will Smith's character is his upcoming film Concussion.  

-- Shitty accent notwithstanding, of course.

-- Fuck Free Brady, y'all.  

-- Free RGIII.

-- One Time by Marian Hill is absolutely hypnotic.

-- Quote of the Week is from one of Louis C.K.'s older sets, "Self-love is a good thing but self awareness is more important. You need to once is a while go 'Uh, I'm kind of an asshole.'" 

-- His point is well taken. Change can only be truly achieved at the individual level. 

-- The majority of other efforts to do so are most commonly futile.

-- Talk about "no duh."

Quick Thinking: More Probable Than Not

When Ted Wells released the now infamous report surrounding his "independent" Deflategate investigation, Patriot Nation held its collective breath because the "comprehensive" findings were not favorable.

"For the reasons described in this Report, and after a comprehensive investigation, we have concluded that, in connection with the AFC Championship Game, it is more probable than not that New England Patriots personnel participated in violations of the Playing Rules and were involved in a deliberate effort to circumvent the rules. In particular, we have concluded that it is more probable than not that Jim McNally (the Officials Locker Room attendant for the Patriots) and John Jastremski (an equipment assistant for the Patriots) participated in a deliberate effort to release air from Patriots game balls after the balls were examined by the referee. Based on the evidence, it also is our view that it is more probable than not that Tom Brady (the quarterback for the Patriots) was at least generally aware of the inappropriate activities of McNally and Jastremski involving the release of air from Patriots game balls." 

The resulting backlash of questions concerning Brady's integrity and, ultimately, his legacy were immediate and, at the time, warranted. I mean, doctoring balls to gain a competitive advantage is something any ultra-competitive athlete would do, right? Not only is it understandable, it's expected. Isn't it?

Haters everywhere were more than happy to add an asterisk next to Brady's accomplishments. Cheaters never win and all that.

But, as is the case with most things in life, the factual details that have come out since the Wells Report was released have shed a different light on Deflategate and transformed our poorly-informed, knee-jerk questions into absolute clarity. And that clarity, of course, is that Brady's legacy is intact.

Fully intact. 

In fact, I would argue this whole Deflategate scandal is only going to enhance Brady's legacy while adding Goodell, Wells and the NFL to the wake of his winning pedigree. After all, this is the same Brady who has overcome adversity & doubters at every turn of his life -- famously so, at this point -- so why should Deflategate be any different? 

It shouldn't.

And it won't be.

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Quick Thinking
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-- Dolph Lundgren is starring in a Kindergarten Cop sequel providing further proof Hollywood has run out of good ideas.

-- Or any original ideas, for that matter.

-- I can relate.

-- And, no, it's not a tumor.

-- Makes sense Buffalo Bills new head coach Rex Ryan claimed IK Enemkpali off waivers. 

-- He's wanted to punch Geno Smith in the face for years.

-- At least Geno's injury won't affect his fantasy draft status.

-- Wakka, wakka, wakka.

-- Brady's "private" email communications show how normal his life actually is.

-- I mean, who doesn't make fun of Peyton Manning on email with their friends.

#manningface

-- The only thing worse than a 13-episode The Bachelorette season is the reactive media frenzy covering "the decision" pirating more headlines and airtime once any respective season ends.

-- Speculative journalism at its finest.

-- The real story is how the conclusion of each season could spark identical debate: "why did [insert Bachelorette name here] chose [winner's name] over [loser's name]?"

-- The answer is, and always will be, whichever guy has the biggest stem will always take home the final rose.

-- Always.

-- Think of all the time the media will save on unnecessary future conjecture that can be invested in covering more important things.

-- Like the Kardashians.

Quick Thinking: Don't Call Me Bruce

Everywhere I turn today there's a story applauding or criticizing Ms. Jenner and her Courage Award win at the ESPYs last night.

I mean everywhere.

I understand it's a polarizing topic, y'all, but does it really need to dominate the news? Aren't there more pressing issues we should be focused on? 

And, no, I'm not talking about Brady's PSI appeal.

I'm talking about child obesity, presidential candidates, our economy, the health care & food industries investing in one another as they turn the world into patients or, rather, future clients, immigration, unemployment, the rising cost of education...I mean, shit: pick a topic. Lots of big stuff needs to be fixed, y'all.

Lots.

But we live in a world where entire countries can go broke and all we care about is how many likes we get on an Instagram post to validate our egos and sense of worth or how much cleavage Kim Kardashian flashed at her recent magazine photo shoot.

At some point we need to realize celebrity culture and reality tv shows aren't about having "guilty pleasures." They're about distracting us from the serious issues swirling around at all times. 

It's an epidemic, really. 

Unfortunately, most are simply too addicted to the pretty pictures they see on TV, Facebook feeds and smart devices while they look in the mirror to measure themselves against those same standards while ignoring bigger issues in their own lives and, ultimately, in the world.

But, hey, at least Ms. Jenner has nice tits and a pretty dress.

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Quick Thinking
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-- Making a life "decision" that results in significant earnings isn't courageous. 

-- It's business.

-- And while the media frenzy feeds our need for daily distractions, Ms. Jenner is trading awards for airtime to promote her show, up the viewership and gain more advertising dollars. 

-- You know, because she's so courageous and all.

-- There's talk Q-Tip is putting the "finishing touches" on his new album Last Zulu, which has been rumored since 2012, and it will released before the end of this year.

-- But don't hold your breath or anything. 

-- If it was a card game his shuffling would be rubbing the nuts off the Jacks.

-- And the tits off the Queens.

-- Arbitrary Note of the Week: During a recent manscaping session I realized my left vasectomy scar is in the shape of a "T" while my right one is in the shape of a "J".

-- True story.

-- Having identifiable marked balls definitely puts an end to my drive-by teabag career.

-- Truer story.

-- Quote of the Week goes to my know-it-all colleague who, when correcting a client as to a type of beer his establishment had on tap, said, "No, it's not Honey Brown beer. It should be referred to as a 'Ho-Bro' Ale."

-- The post-quote pencil drop was epic.

-- Easy to guess the Douche of the Week Award is being issued to the same guy.

-- Or should I say "Do-Bro."

-- Watching the leaderboard on this year's British Open, I'm reminded of what I wrote back in April of 2014: Tiger will never win another major. 

-- Never. 

-- Can you believe The Rocky franchise is still throwing punches with it's new movie Creed?

-- I've always been surprised it survived that ocean-splashing, mesh shirt frolic from Rocky III.

-- Or better known in some circles as Brokeback Rocky.

-- CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDD!!!

Quick Thinking: Reader's Mercy

The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, dear readers. 

Greatly exaggerated. 

I didn't retire. I didn't change careers. I didn't join the Night's Watch. And I certainly haven't stopped writing. 

I've simply changed the delivery method.

When I began this blog so many years ago the goal was to 1) make a few people laugh (if only a few) 2) become famous and 3) find my voice and practice my craft until it could pay the bills.

And, for the past 2 years, it has done just that: I get paid to name businesses, write tag lines, concept ads and write. Who knew, right?!

[SIDE NOTE: START]

The sports+thoughts concept was born on myspace.com of all places. That's right: myspace.com. Remember myspace.com? The magical place for friends? 

Of course you don't. 

For all its silliness and glorified dating-site faults, though, myspace was a place where I could write, tell you what I was listening to, give you a quote or two AND let you know what kind of mood I was in all in one place. Seemed innovative in '07 but feels a bit antiquated today. Glad to see social media has evolved into something more meaningful since then.

#sarcasm

[SIDE NOTE: END]

Admittedly, writing for "work" has taken away from me writing for "fun." I'm not talking Liam Neeson's version of taken away with a capital "T" or anything. It's certainly not that kind of violent affair. 

I do, however, still have a very particular set of skills that I haven't used on this blog for far too long, dear readers. 

Far too long. 

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Quick Thinking
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-- Living in a world where great Olympic men are really women and white is really black doesn't bother me.

-- Watching a fictional man die a fictional death in a fictional world on HBO, however, struck at the core of my belief system.

-- Clearly we, as a society, know nothing, Jon Snow.

-- I do find solace in the fact that Gandalf's death in the fictional world of Middle Earth had the same affect on me in 8th grade.

-- For those who didn't read the books, Gandalf the Grey came back to life bigger, faster and stronger.

--  And whiter, actually. 

-- Unlike Rachel Dolezal, of course.



-- Speaking of things that are really white, J.Crew recently reported a loss of 462.4 million amidst nearly 200 layoffs.

-- Insert khaki-colored punchline here. 

-- If there's one thing the Game of Thrones has taught us it's that the time between seasons is long.

-- And full of fan speculating terrors.

-- This isn't myspace.com but, for the record, I'm listening to Common featuring Mos Def on his thoughtful track The Questions.

-- Oh, and I'm in a good mood. 

-- There's no emoticon proof. You'll have to take my word for it. 

-- Quote of the Week is awarded to the same artist I'm listening to for one of the greatest song lyrics in the history of hip-hop, "How you got high expectations when you got low patience?"

-- Well said, Com. 

-- Well. 

-- Said.

-- I wanted LeBron and the Cavs to win this year. 

-- There, I said it.

-- That "become famous" line during my opening statements was a joke, by the way.

-- Or as the kid's say: btw.

-- I would fail at famous faster than I finish a slice of Gregg's chocolate cake.

-- And I finish those fast.

Open Letter: SB49

Dear "Hate the Patriots" Nation,

Your judgement is being skewed by fandom and your intelligence insulted by the media.

#Spygate wasn't about the Patriots cheating, it was about the commissioner's dented ego. #Deflategate wasn't about the Patriots cheating, it was about the Baltimore Ravens and Indianapolis Colts over-inflated sense of worth. (It was also about distracting the entire The New England Patriots organization during their preparation for the most important game of the year.)

Talk about cheating.

Bill Belichick & Tom Brady are arguably the best ever at what they do. You're simply upset because they're not part of YOUR favorite team. Admit it.

More importantly: own it. Own it, understand it and try to reflect more on how your team can improve instead of wishing for another to fail. That mindset of "misery loves company" is as unproductive as your thinking. It's childish, silly and -- worse yet -- makes you appear really quite foolish.

[SIDE NOTE: START]

And, you know what, during said rumination you'll probably realize you shouldn't be wasting your time hoping the Patriots lose. And you certainly shouldn't be wasting your time listening to news who's primary goal is to continue a news cycle of negativity. That's not productive for anyone.

Especially your favorite team.

[SIDE NOTE: END]

Greatness is typically underappreciated in "real time", y'all. The majority of us need distance to acknowledge events void of any bias. Especially when it comes to sport.

I promise you, in 20 years when NFL's "greatest of all time" debates are filled with new faces, new dynasties and new scandals, today's New England Patriots will be revered as one of the untarnished best. Too many wins doesn't mean the New England Patriots must be cheating, it means they're better than most teams today. Today. Not forever. Just today.

So stop trying to knock them down and just try to enjoy it. Because, who knows, the next dynasty the NFL sees might be yours.

And imagine what people will say about them.

Sincerely,

sports + thoughts
Unofficial Patriots Nation spokesman