Magic Shades

I'm growing tired of all the complaints coming from my male counterparts these days. I keep hearing comments like, "All she does is talk about 50 Shades" this and "She wants me to take her to Magic Mike to look at naked guys" that. Listen, fellas, please don't let insecurity cloud your judgement here.

Now is not the time for complaints.

Now is the time for applauding the efforts of women who are embracing a fictional sadist and a group of male strippers as the springboard to asserting their own sexuality. Freak flags are out, boys. And the only thing your complaints are doing is preventing them from flying free.

Let them fly free, baby.

The thing is, I understand why you might feel insecure. Really. I do. But you need to shift the paradigm and realize Magic Mike and Mr. Grey aren't your competition.

Not even close.

What they are, in fact, is your ally. Maybe not your best friend, but definitely someone you should admire for the service they're providing.

Yup, I said it.

Male strippers on the big screen and Christian Grey between the pages are the greatest warming trays of all time. (Even better than the ones at your favorite all-you-can-eat Chinese food place!) And you wanna know why?

Easy.

Once the credits roll and the final chapter ends, guess who all these women are going to look toward in an attempt to transform their newly found fantasies into reality? That's right: You.

You, big guy.

So it's time to man up and enjoy the circumstances you've been gifted. Put away the animosity, shed the insecurity and let these ladies express themselves. Because you know that dream you have every summer? Well, it's happening all around you.

And it's happening right now.

The weather is hot, single girls everywhere are reading porn and, as a result, they're all horny as hell while on the look-out for their own personal Christian Grey or Magic Mike.

Stop complaining about it.