Friday, February 18, 2011

Quick Thinking: Retro Grades


They say those who live in the past are doomed to die there. With that in mind, dear readers, I implore each of you to forget what was and remember what is.

The past is just that: past. So, instead of feeling anger or guilt for things that have happened, start planning for things you hope still can.

Now I'm not saying forget everything from times past. Reminisce, sure.

But don't set up residence.


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Past Thoughts

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-- I'm still hungover from the Patriots' playoff loss.

-- Yup, still.


-- Watching Conan the other night made me realize G-Love, similar to a booty call, isn't the same without Special Sauce.

-- Stefaan Engels, the Belgian athlete who completed his quest to run a marathon every day for a year, is officially the only man who can say P90X is for pussies.


-- Remember though, Mr. Engels: no one likes a show-off.

-- Especially for 365 consecutive days.

-- Stupid Question of the Week goes to yours truly for asking an unnamed co-worker upon seeing a tattoo on the inside of her right wrist that reads "...this two shall pass..." the following: "Why 'two' instead of 'too?'"

-- Stupid Answer of the Week goes to that same co-worker for responding, "Because it's a famous saying. Duh. You went to college, right? Shouldn't you know that."

-- She's right. I should know that.


-- My boss recently informed me upper management was "taking note" of my actions and viewed me as an "agent of change" in the company.

-- And by "agent of change," I think he meant "grossly overqualified for the menial position I accepted with the company due to our country's shit economy."

-- There may have even been a hint of "we also hope the slightest promise of a promotion will keep you pacified and, ultimately, pigeonholed in your current position," too.

-- Spaced alliteration anyone?


-- Monster.com and your inspirational commercials, I turn my lonely eyes to you.

-- Speaking of commercials, why were the trio of gay bakers, responsible for the yummy breakfast treat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, replaced by...um, well, the cinnamon toast crunches themselves?

-- Crazy squares, indeed.

-- Oh, and why did Brisk Iced Tea make an attempt to recapture the brilliance of a late-90's marketing campaign,, anchored by clay-like figurines voiced by their celebrity movie counterparts, with Eminem?

-- The Italian Stallion, digital or not, knows what he's talking about, y'all. Thanks to the time machine qualities of YouTube & the Internet: nothing is over.

-- Nothing.

-- Except, of course, my focus on retro commercials in this blog.

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