Quick Thinking: One And Done?

With the healthy birth of my first child, Declan David Joyce, I find myself reflecting on sins of past "lifetimes" in hopes they won't haunt my baby boy.

Other than that, there's really only one thing I can wish for the little man.

That crazy skips a generation.

-----------------
Quick Thinking
-----------------

-- Conspiracy Theory Award of the Week goes to Christina Aguilera for "accidentally" forgetting the words to our nation's anthem.

-- If you don't think the over/under line in Vegas for the song's length @ 1:54 had anything to do with her sudden memory lapse than you're too naive to be reading this blog.

-- So you know, Christina's "big game" anthem timed out at 1:53.56.

-- True story.

-- Memo to All You Female Teachers Out There Engaging in Sexual Relations With Students: Sex with high school boys will not help you recapture your youth or win that coveted Prom Queen title you've been harping for all these years.

-- Having sex with me, on the other hand, will.

-- Giggity, giggity.

-- Youth recapturing and prom title notwithstanding, of course.

-- When did Tiger Woods forget how to play golf?

-- Mix Tape Song of the Week Award goes to Steven Marley's Hey Baby.

-- And, no, not because it features the mighty Mos Def.

-- Hey, FOX, thanks for that Tom-Brady-is-the-first-ever-unanimous-league-MVP halftime update kick in the balls.

-- I still prefer the old # 12. You know, the one who's greatness was defined by winning championships.

-- Not individual accolades.

-- Ok, I lied. Mos Def had everything to do with Hey Baby being awarded the Mix Tape Song of the Week.

-- His lyric, "And even though I'm gone, I am never to far; You're the light through the dark, shining right through my heart." didn't hurt, either.

-- Ray Allen is 2 away from netting 2,561 3-pointers and passing Reggie Miller atop the NBA's all-time list.

-- I couldn't hit that many three's playing Double Dribble.

-- On Level 1.

-- Against the Boston Frogs.

-- That's right, the green team on Double Dribble was the digital basketball powerhouse known as "The Frogs."

-- Speaking of which, am I the only one who thinks their mascot looks like a creepy, 8-bit sex offender? (He makes an appearance at approximately 17 seconds.)

-- Giggity, goo.

-- Watching the post-Patriots playoffs learned me our home team is too soft on defense to win a Super Bowl.

-- Big ups to the female propaganda machine which successfully cheapened the inherent gifting spirit of birth by commercializing said experience with the materialistic notion of a "push" gift.

-- Talk about irony.

-- I'll be expecting one next time I take a shit so big my ass bleeds.