Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Rebirth of Quick


Evolution is vital for survival, dear readers. Even the written lunacy of sports + thoughts, which at first glance may seem inanimate and incapable of change, must evolve to continue and thrive in its literary environment.


Nothing exists in a vacuum.


So we're starting today's column with a small programming note in an attempt to embrace the idea that evolution is, in fact, innate -- regardless of the medium in which something exists.


Programming Note:
"The Morning After" tltle will be replaced.


At the advice of my trusted council, some may even call it a fellowship, I've decided to scrap the "Morning After" title in favor of simply calling my weekly column "Quick Thinking." The Morning After moniker isn't dead and will still appear from time-to-time in a different context.

In all honesty, the "Q.T." style has always been my vision, my goal...my baby.


And no one pushes baby out of the headline.


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Quick Thinking

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-- I don't know who the man behind the man behind the man is, but I don't like him.


-- I'll take Roseanne Barr singing The Star-Spangled Banner
over Steven Tyler singing God Bless America any day of the week.

-- You might want to step into the 21st Century and look into Auto Tune, Mr. Tyler.


-- Oh, and speaking of what century we're in: It's 2010 AD, Steven. Not 210 BC. Giving your daughter a tongue kiss on national TV is frowned upon.


-- And really creepy.


-- Unless, of course, you're Woody Allen.


-- I am the antithesis of each individual showcased on TLC's Hoarding: Buried Alive.


-- Hearing Rem Dawg doing color commentary full-time for the Red Sox again comforts me like a warm blanket.


-- Seeing Heidi Watney between innings, on the other hand, makes that same warm blanket a little bit wet.


-- HAY-OOOOOOOOO!

-- The landscape of modern day hip-hop as we know it would not be the same without the influential brilliance of Gil Scott-Heron.

-- Idiot Award of the Week goes to two unknown fools for commenting on some young lady's Facebook post about the weather with weak come-ons:

Photobucket

-- Guess "Nice shoes, wanna screw?" doesn't work like it used to.

-- C'mon, guys. Do better.


-- Having the bank to sign Hall of Famer Peter Gammons should give you an idea of how much revenue NESN generates for the Red Sox.


-- Everyone likes the taste of a cash cow, y'all.


-- There's no truth to the rumor that FEMA will hand out Zoo Towels to help boost state morale during the aftermath of Rhode Island's Great Flood of 2010.


-- I hope I get the monkey one.


-- Celebrity Look A Like of the Week goes to Donovan McNabb for looking like Sergeant Mertaugh from those Lethal Weapon movies during his introductory press conference for the Redskins.


Photobucket
-- Beats having Riggs' mullet, Mr. McNabb.


-- Also known as "My Haircut" circa 1989.


-- Curse you, Ultra Super Hold AquaNet.

-- Curse you.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I vote for a glimpse at the Riggs/author look-alike split screen shot. :)

Anonymous said...

Dear bobbiedean,

I, too, voted for a visual aid to assist with that joke. But, despite our best efforts, we haven't been able to secure any photographic evidence of said haircut.

All I can do in its absence is provide my word that -- whether the fault of the era I grew up in or driven by a naive desire to be accepted and emulating my older siblings -- my hair style of choice in the late 80's was a mullet.

Business on top.

Party in the back.

Patience is requested as we continue our search for said photos.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha! Thank you, but a visual aid is no longer required. "Party in the back." ---- that's all I needed. :)