The Morning After: Apology 101

Dear Tiger,

Your apology, while a necessary evil to start the reconstruction of your image, sounded rigid. An apology's words are secondary to the sincerity in which they are delivered and, unfortunately, your statement had a robotic tone void of any real emotion.

Probity isn't always enough.

Listen, Eldrich, you're the most powerful athlete in the world and you, along with the rest of us, are acutely aware of that fact. You were hampered by your father with the stresses of adulthood before you were even an adult. And, while those stresses have shaped your golfing skills, the metamorphosis from "boy" to "greatest golfer in the world" has come at a cost.

And that cost was your childhood.

Growing up tall, lanky and "geeky" -- with the braces and glasses -- I'm sure you weren't too popular with the ladies and didn't get to experience the normal adolescent fumblings in the back seats of cars like the rest of us. But now that you're the most powerful, most recognizable athlete in the world you feel entitled to indulge in all the women throwing themselves at you because of everything you sacrificed in the past.

We get it.

But understanding the "why" doesn't mean you don't have things to be sorry for, Tigger. What it does mean is that you don't have to apologize to us, the fans. Apologize to your family, to your wife, your kids and, to a certain extent, your business partners. But stop apologizing to the public.

You don't owe me, or any other golf fan for that matter, an explanation. Our relationship has never been intimate. We've always been the folks pestering you for an autograph, snapping pictures of you in your back swing, and being accosted by your caddy for doing so.

We watch you play. We watch you win. That's it.

Once you start playing and winning again we'll forget about your infidelity; but your family never will. All the tournament victories and broken records won't erase their experienced hardship. So don't worry about us, Tiger.

Don't worry about staged "statements" to repair your image. Don't worry about asking us to have faith in you again. Don't worry about informing us of your renewed faith. Don't worry about what the public thinks of you. Do worry about your family, though, because the rest is only noise. Just be sure you're actions and words are sincere towards them.

Preferably without a hideous blue curtain behind you.

Good Luck,
Sports & Thoughts

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Quick Thinking
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-- What the hell ever happened to Shea Hillenbrand?

-- White Knuckle Award of the Week goes to Pamela Anderson for, um, obvious reasons.



-- Let it go, Pam.

-- Let. It. Go.

-- The Central Falls High School labor fiasco is further proof that the city I grew up in has almost entirely collapsed.

-- What else do you expect from a city once labeled "Sparkle City?"

-- Let's look at the bright side, though. At least we have a national audience watching as we crumble.

-- Every athlete should take notes on how well embattled Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell has handled himself over the past 2 years amidst failed trades & trade rumors.

-- Tim Tebow 2.0 still won't be good enough to be an effective NFL quarterback.

-- Neither would Tebow 3.0.

-- Or 4.0 for that matter.

-- LaDainian Tomlinson is another in long line of great running backs that will make the NFL Hall of Fame without the taste of victory only afforded by winning a championship.

-- Bar Refaeli in a bikini is exhibit # 4,555,568,300,495,144 that God is, most definitely, a Man.



-- And, apparently, He's a Red Sox fan.

-- WICKED PISSAH!!!

-- Where have you gone Tony Kornheiser? PTI Nation turns their lonely eyes to you.

-- According to the Hurwitz James Company, the safest house in the world, located in Beverly Hills, CA., is on the market for a mere $7.25 million.

-- It just moved atop my list of "destination spots" during the impending Zombie Apocalypse.

-- Speaking of the Zombie Apocalypse, a new movie tackling that genre called The Crazies comes out Friday.

-- I'm curious to see how many of my ex-girlfriends are starring in it.

-- BLAMMO!

-- Mosi Tatupu, a pre-Patriot Nation fan favorite from '78-'90 & pioneer for today's Hawaiian football talent hotbed, passed away yesterday at the age of 54. I'd like to take a moment and extend my sincere condolences to his family.