The Debut

by Old Man Lemon

This column will provide guidance to those fans who make the occasional wager on NFL games throughout the season. It will also assume that those reading it are familiar with some basic gambling terms such as: "prop bet", "over/under", "money line", "straight bet" and "teasing" among others.

Oh, wait, you don't bet on football? That's ok.

Neither do I.

No topic is off limits for Old Man Lemon, dear readers. Well, save one: please don't ask how I got my nickname. It's a childhood scar that will never fully heal.

Ok, let's put the pleasantries behind us and get down to business.

We're starting this football season with 2 goals. First, we want the New England Patriots to make the playoffs. While yours truly is a Pats fan rest assured that my hope for their success will never interfere with my money risking prognostications. Second, we're looking to fund an all-expense paid trip to the Greek Islands for me and Mrs. Lemon...one that lasts three months.

3 Game Tease of the Week

(NOTE: In a 3-game tease the bettor is allowed to manipulate the spread 9 points in each game.)

1) Tennessee Titans (+6) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

The Pittsburgh Steelers open the 2009 season as defending Super Bowl Champions playing host to the Tennessee Titans. The Steelers are 3-8 against the Titans since '99. Two of those victories came with a side of ketchup in the comforts of Heinz Field and all three saw the Steelers score 34 points in victory. I don't see their offense putting up that many points against a Titans team that held them to 14 points last year without the help of then injured, now traded, Albert Haynesworth. The last time the Steelers lost a season opener was in 2002. Well, I'm grabbing the Titans (+15) and betting the next time they lose a home opener is tonight.

2) Buffalo Bills vs. New England Patriots (-11)

Tom Brady hasn't seen any regular season action since the "dirty-helmet-to-knee-hit-heard-round-new-england" by Bernard Pollard in last season's opener. This year, the Patriots are playing host to the Buffalo Bills who set records in offensive futility during the preseason resulting in the firing of their Offensive Coordinator. In addition to being disgruntled with the offense, Buffalo's newly acquired wide receiver Terrell Owens called out Bill Belichick when making cracks to the media about "bringing his spy camera" instead of "popcorn" to the game on MNF. All the bravado aside, though, the Patriots are 16-2 against the Bills since '00. Lightning doesn't strike in two straight home openers so I'm betting the Patriots (-2) and Brady light up the Bills.

3) Oakland Raiders vs. San Diego Chargers (-9.5)

Do you really need any acumen concerning this match-up? It's the Raiders. C'mon, really? Ok, I'm taking the Chargers (-.5) even though they're playing in Oakland because they've won 11 straight against the Silver & Black.

We'll be wagering $600.00 on the above 3 games.

(Remember, a "tease" means all three games have to cover the "teased" spread to be a winner.)

CEMENT Pick of the Week:

We're spitting in the face of conventional wisdom that says "never bet on the home team" this week, trusted followers. I've always felt that if you're going to take a "risk" it should be with the team you undoubtedly know most intimately -- your "home" team. That said, we'll make our second wager on the Patriots for the CEMENT Pick of the Week.

Call it wishful thinking but with their weak defense (ranked 32nd in preseason play) the Patriots offense is going to have to score points at a record pace this season. The over/under line of 47.5 with the return of Tom Brady for their home opener is too low. I'm betting the Brady Bunch will get 7 touchdowns by themselves. Taking over 47.5 will be the easiest $500.00 I've ever made.

Remember dear readers: when life gives you lemons, drink the lemonade.

And when bookies give you lines, try to make it rain.

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[ Season Record: 0-0-0 ]
[ Cement PotW: 0-0-0 ]
[ Bank: $ 0.00 ]