The Morning After: Week 3

It's the sport of kings, better than diamond rings...

I'm tired of teams being confused by the new formation, popularized by the 2008 Miami Dolphins, NFL teams are using as part of their offensive scheme this season. In my mind there's a simply way to end this trend: one hard hit.

Wildcat Formation + One Hard Hit = No More Wildcat.

Maybe I'm simplifying too much. Am I? The formation can't be that difficult to defend, can it?

When you see a quarterback lined up as a wide receiver, in what is known around the league as the "Wildcat" formation, he's not the "precious" anymore. Don't believe me? Go ask Gollum.

And, after you're done chatting with that fictional jewelry freak, ask yourself this question: What happens to all those rules the NFL has issued protecting the quarterback when he's lined up as a wide receiver?

Got the answer yet?

All those rules become null and void. He's not a quarterback anymore. He's a wide receiver. So the only rules that govern said quarterback in the "Wildcat" formation are the same ones that govern every wide receiver on each down. And one of those rules says a wide receiver can be "chucked" up to 5 yards past the line of scrimmage.

So, with that said, let's offer some advice too all those Defensive Coordinators out there: take advantage of it! Send your safety full speed and tell him to embed his helmet in the quarterback's chest as the ball is snapped. Sure, you might get a 15 yard penalty, but you won't get another "Wildcat" formation.

Ever.

But if a hard hit is too violent a solution for your delicate sensibilities, don't fret, I have a suggestion for you too!

Instead of giving your safety the "right-to-kill" maybe you could install a "Wildcat" specific defense. And maybe it would be similar to a traditional "Cover 2" defense. And maybe instead of playing zone and reacting your defense gets aggressive and tries to scratch out the eyes of the offensive players.

Either way.

Rawr.

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Quick Thinking
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-- Big surprise that Woody Allen, a man who married his "stepdaughter," is leading the charge to get Roman Polanski released from jail despite his guilty plea on a statutory rape charge for molesting a 13-year-old girl in 1977.

-- I guess the heart wants what it wants, right Woody?



-- I'm tired of sportscasters tripping over themselves to tell me how great Brett Favre is.

-- The Red Sox celebrating their wildcard birth following a loss feels a lot like a man bragging about hooking up with a hot chick while she was black out drunk.

-- In my defense, though, she didn't seem that drunk.

-- Memo to all the expecting mom's out there: It's never ok to name your son "Blaine."

-- Never.

-- Despite the win over Atlanta, the Patriots still feel like a .500 team to me.

-- Early Christmas Wish of the Week: I would love to see the HBO Series Hard Knocks follow the New England Patriots through training camp next year.

-- Santa, if you're listening, there's some special treats from Connie's Kitchen in it for you.

-- And not the kind you get under the mistletoe, you dirty old man.

-- The Cincinnati Bengals are better than you think.

-- Bullet by Rhymefest featuring Citizen Cope is a jam from 2006 that needs the dust blown off it.

-- Greg Lewis made the catch of a lifetime against the 49ers.

-- The old Tom Brady used to let his performance do the talking.

-- The new Tom Brady yells at his teammates and looks to the refs for missed calls.

-- I miss the old Tom Brady.

-- The $25 million suit filed by David Givens against the Tennessee Titans could be a case that simply highlights the risks of being a professional football player or it may provide further proof that an NFL organization will do anything to win, including withholding medical information from its players.

-- My guess is it's 50-50.

-- The Red Sox are in the playoffs for the sixth time in seven seasons. Try and enjoy the accomplishment, Sox Nation, instead of stressing about our losing streak.

-- Seattle's color man Mike Blowers' accurate AM radio prediction that Seattle rookie Matt Tuiasosopo would hit his first major league home run during his second at bat on a 3-1 fastball into left center field in Toronto is the most incredible prognostication ever made.

-- EVER.

-- And it's not even close.

-- It also provides further proof that God is a sports fan.

-- Quote of the Week comes from my boy Jake in reaction to the MMS functionality from AT&T going live for the iPhone: "Hooray for MMS messaging. Now I can send you pictures of my johnson."

-- I've changed my phone number for lesser threats.

-- Tim Tebow reminds me a lot of Rex Grossman and Brady Quinn. None of which can play quarterback in the NFL.

-- September's Stupidest Thing Said Award goes to Whoopi Goldberg who quipped the following when asked about Roman Polanski's arrest: "I know it wasn't 'rape-rape.' I think it was something else, but I don't believe it was 'rape-rape.'"

-- Well said, Whoopi.

-- But I have one question for you: Do you "like" Roman Polanski? Or do you "like-like" him?