The Great Gender Debate: Opening Arguments

I feel the gender debate suffers from, what I like to call, obvious ignorance. General opinion seems to be "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." And that, dear readers, is where most of the confusion starts.

Now I don't claim to be an archeologist or historian or anything. But last I checked, and correct me if I'm wrong, we're actually both "from" Earth.

Not Mars. Not fucking Venus. Earth.

Unless, of course, I fell asleep in my Western Civilization class when the teacher elaborated on that epic moment in Earth's history when: "the Earth, full of dinosaurs, was attacked by two spaceships: one from Mars, one from Venus. And instead of destroying 'Earth' these intruders became docile, decided to procreate, and started to build shopping malls and shit."

C'mon. We're not from different planets, y'all. We're simply on different teams. More importantly (and this is where I get insightful) we both have very, VERY, different definitions of what "winning" is.

And, whether you want to admit it or not, that's what life's all about folks: WINNING.

Are you still with me?

Life is about all those little victories that make up our own individual definition of what happiness is. Some of those victories, along with the resulting happinesses, are EXTREMELY gender specific.

That's the reason I'm opening the gender debate door, dear readers. I'm going to step inside and analyze some of the rationale behind what MY gender feels the idea of winning translates into.

Don't fret, boys. I'm not going to expose our team goals, objectives, gender secrets or anything like that. I'm simply going to provide some insight that the ladies may find beneficial in their effort to understand us.

It's your proverbial win/win situation.

Stay tuned.