Sacrificial Pack

I have here an open letter to a Green Bay Packer fan:

Dear Cheesehead,

I was recently shown by a media outlet a statement from National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell that you are a fan of the most storied franchise in NFL history, the Green Bay Packers, who suffered an abominable loss on the field of battle Monday Night in Seattle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming as a result of simultaneous possession and substandard officiating. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of NFL fans everywhere saved by the scrutiny surrounding the final second mishap.

I pray that the new labor agreement sparked by Monday night's calamity may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the previous loss, how it ended labor strife, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of professional competition and compromise.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

NFL Nation

Football Haiku

We will now embrace

the defining sport of sports

kickoff day is here

Memory Mile

"I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now."

- John Coffey

The Green Mile is still, to this day, the single film to evoke tears from me while in an actual movie theater.

Other than The Notebook, of course.

I assure you there was no sobbing, no whimpering. Tears were simply streaming down my cheeks as if I had faulty plumbing. It was bananas...like a reflex that couldn't be helped. Or maybe the "incident" serves as a small shred of evidence that I do, in fact, have a heart.

But I doubt it.

For you trivia buffs, the third movie to ever make me cry was the video from my wedding day. True story.

Lucky for me, the emotion lasted about as long as my marriage did.

All joking aside, rest in peace, Mr. Duncan. May the memory of your life offer solace to loved ones battling the heartache of your passing.