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Recent interactions with the population-at-large has learned me the following fact: reality has been relegated to no more than a vacation spot for most people. Everyone knows it exists. Shit, most folks even decide to visit once in a while.
But no one seems to reside there anymore.
I implore you, dear readers, please look into relocating if you don't already live in reality. But, if you're locked into an unbreakable lease, at the very least dare to visit Reality Island a little more often.
And I'm not talking about your own little corner of the island. I'm talking about the entire land mass; especially the parts you've never visited or even knew existed. Trust me, the weather is always nice, the truths are always simple (whether you accept them or not is a different story) and rent doesn't cost a penny.
Plus, it has the best water park ever.
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Quick Thinking
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-- Rondo's elbow dislocation during our failed playoff run was the grossest thing I've seen as a Celtics fan since watching Greg Kite play.
-- His resiliency following the injury, on the other hand, makes Rocky and Rudy, the greatest fictional "little engine that could" characters of all time, look like quitters.
-- The chant of "rondo. Rondo. RONDO!" better shake the foundation of the Garden at the start of next season, y'all.
-- Speaking of worst-to-first stories, how 'bout those Red Sox, huh? I guess the rumors of their untimely demise were greatly exaggerated after all.
-- Am I the only one that thinks Nabisco is adding chocolate flavored crack to Oreos? I can't stop eating these fucking things.
-- I'm starting to feel like Tyrone Biggums around them.
-- Big congratulatory shout out to my zodiac sign sharing big cousin, Joe Anter, who tied the knot at 10,000 feet wearing a tux with his trademark skis in Solitude, UT.
-- Beep again, brother. Beep. Again.
-- Reality Check of the Week comes from yours truly and highlights a hard lesson that, especially in today's social media world, the ability to express thoughts and feelings "in confidence" doesn't exist anymore.
-- People jumping to conclusions after learning small bits of information about others, however, is alive and well.
-- Thriving, in fact.
-- But do me a favor and don't tell anyone I said that though, ok?
As we all know, dear readers, I use my daily experiences as blog fodder. And, because I spend so much of my time at work, it would only make sense interactions with co-workers influence the majority of my daily life and, ultimately, any resulting written word.
With that said, I'd like to take my jester hat off for a second and give a shout out to my two colleagues (now former colleagues, actually) who broke under the rigors of a hostile work environment and unapologetically resigned this past weekend.
Consider this blog my symbolic "pour a little out on the sidewalk for my fallen homies" moment. Actually, consider it my "pour the whole thing out" moment.
Because King Cobra sucks.
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Quick Thinking
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-- You know the basketball landscape has changed, y'all, when historic powerhouses like the Grizzles and Thunder are battling for supremacy out West.
-- Regardless of its progression, though, playoff basketball is still the best ticket in town right now.
-- Speaking of round ball, have you seen the newest installment of NBA TV's "Biggest Season Ever" promotions?
-- Reminds me of my NBA Jam TE days back in the 90's.
-- For the record, me and Big Nick were unstoppable playing with Chicago's duo of B.J. Armstrong and Dennis Rodman.
-- Just ask the fellas in Fennell & McDermott who were humbled night after night and supplied us with countless cases of Natty Light and handles of Captain during my college years.
-- HE'S ON FIRE!!
-- The ladies in McVinney Hall were humbled in a different way.
-- BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!
-- Unless it combats our dependency on foreign oil or decreases the unemployment rate, the reports of bin Ladin's death feel like much ado about nothing.
-- They also reek of political posturing.
-- Either way, I can't wait to unlock the secret level and kill his digital ass in the next installment of Call of Duty.
-- The Bruins scored a touchdown and held the Flyers to a field goal to take a 1-0 series lead in the Eastern Conference semifinals. Sweet, eh?
-- I know I'm mixing sports metaphors there, but referring to hockey as football is the only way I can make it interesting.
-- Or tolerable.
-- Memo to All You Ladies Out There: Glamour Shots is never a good gift idea
-- Ever.
-- Hey, Big Four, if you keep letting Miami's bench players goat you, it's gonna be a short series.
-- Here's a little advice: Start taking the game to them.
-- A little playoff trash talking never hurt anyone, either.
-- Telling LeBron the entire Celtics team will "take their talents back to Boston and run a train on DeLonte's girlfriend" is a good place to start.
-- Am I the only one confused by all these summer movie trailers on TV lately? I mean, I saw one the other day that said The Hangover Part II was being release on May 13th but could have sworn it was coming out on the 26th.
-- Wait, what? That's not The Hangover Part II with a bunch of women? It's a new movie called Bridesmaids?
-- Oh, my bad.
-- Wonder where Mr. Apatow drew his inspiration for that novel movie idea.
-- Good luck getting all that "date night" clientele, Judd, because, as we all know, guys don't want to watch women acting like guys.
-- Unless, of course, they take us home from a bar on Friday night.
-- HAY-OOO!
