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Lately I've heard a lot of friends talk about how they're afraid of identity theft.
And, while I can sympathize when it comes to fear, I find it impossible to share their anxiety for this particular fear because, well, I couldn't give my fucking identity away.
Even if I tried.
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Quick Thinking
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-- Big ups to the boys at Bar Stool Sports for another solid addition to their t-shirt arsenal.
-- The "inches" marker on the back is genius.
-- "Selling" and "giving away" are not the same thing.
-- Unless, of course, you're at the strip club.
-- HAYY-OOOOO!
-- The NFL should be applauded for their recent focus on protecting players from illegal hits.
-- But don't be fooled, dear readers, the NFL's new vigilant safety campaign is the beginning of a slippery slope pushing for one thing and one thing only: an 18-game regular season.
-- Looks like we finally have ourselves a Bilbo Baggins for Peter Jackson's highly anticipated prequel The Hobbit. Undercover geeks everywhere rejoice!
-- Hope Peter taps into Leonard Nimoy's Middle Earth musical prowess for the soundtrack.
-- See, readers. I told you I wasn't joking about being a closet dork.
-- Here's a link from the top shelf to convince any remaining naysayers.
-- I'M OLD GREGG!!!
-- It pains me to write, but, Showtime's Dexter has officially jumped the shark.
-- In hopes of climbing to 5-2 and not falling to 4-3, I'm throwing the Cement Shoes on Big Ben and the Steelers (-3) in Miami this weekend.
-- Let's hope Mr. Roethlisberger treats me better than he does undergraduate lushes in college bar bathrooms.
We come out of the Patriots' bye week up $550.00 with a record of 4-1 thanks to all those Cement Shoes I've been handing out.
But now Week 6 is upon us, dear readers, and the home team is tasked with trying to keep the number in their loss column to 1.
So am I.
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Quick Thinking
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-- Quote of the Week is awarded to Creepy Work Guy for telling a small group of us, "Violence isn't a big part of my life anymore, but I did rumble a lot when I was younger."
-- I wonder if Dallas, Sodapop or Pony Boy were part of his crew.
-- Counter Intuitive Advice of the Week tells us that sometimes getting people to hate you is the best life decision you can make for yourself.
-- And for them.
-- Why the fuck do I keep receiving AARP membership cards in the mail?
-- "Justin Timberlake played me in a movie" must be the greatest pickup line Sean Parker has in his repertoire.
-- The millions of dollars from owning 7% of Facebook probably don't hurt, either.
-- Dallas visiting Minnesota, plus a point-and-a-half-a-pimple, will be wearing the Cement Shoes this weekend. I hate having to depend on Playboy Tony, but I'll take him over Brett's old ass any day.
-- Congratulations to Joan Rivers for following in the footsteps of Betty White as Snickers' ad agency's newest reclamation project.
-- Oh, wait. That's not Joan Rivers?
-- Really?
-- My bad.
-- Ben & Jerry's new flavor Milk & Cookies is their greatest ice cream innovation to date
-- Brett should take a cue from Chad OchoCinco and change his last name to PickSix.
-- And he needs to stop taking relationship advice from Greg Oden.
-- ZING!
-- There's no truth to the rumor that hockey season recently began.
-- Oh, wait, that's not a rumor?
-- Shit, I'm off my game today.
-- My bad...again.
-- I'm tired of people getting angry with me by remembering things I've never even said.
-- Or, at least, I don't THINK I said those things.
-- But don't hold me to that.
I supposed a quick explanation is in order for those of you who haven't heard the word "mindo" before.
There's actually not much to explain.
Mindo, pronounced "min-doe," is a simple word that can be used as a verb, noun or adjective. End of story. Inject the word into your vocabulary, dear readers, and try it on for size.
After a little use I'm sure you'll agree the word is, in fact, mindo.
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Quick Thinking
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-- The ESPN Monday Night Football hype machine personifies excess.
-- Unless, of course, your team is taking the field on that particular Monday Night.
-- Then it's inspiring.
-- On the bright side, the Red Sox not making the playoffs will help me cope when the Patriots miss the tournament later this year.
-- We're an 8-8 team, Patriot Nation.
-- Embattled quarterback Michael Vick finally came full circle to regain a starting position on an NFL roster.
-- He quickly lost it after sustaining a rib injury diving for the goal line yesterday.
-- Karma: 1. Michael Vick: 0.
-- There's no truth to the rumor that Adam Richman's popular show Man vs. Food will be renamed Man vs. Coronary Disease next season.
-- I got dibs on his host spot when he eventually drops.
-- Quote of the Week goes to Big Slick for his enlightened observation as we started day-drinking following an aggressive night of debauchery, "I don't know if this is possible, but I think I'm hung over AND drunk."
-- There's no truth to the rumor that The Town's climatic shoot out at Fenway Park was loosely based on Theo Epstein and Larry Lucchino's troubled negotiations following the disappointing 2005 season.
-- Cement Shoe Pick of the Week is Pats/Miami Over @ 47.5. Brady needs to throw 3 TDs just to keep the game competitive.
-- His hair will have to throw a few as well to give us a chance at a win.
-- Memo from my blog's Department of Redundancy Department: Mos Def's Umi Says transcends all musical tastes, generations, genres and,when you listen to every word, it inspires.
-- Be inspired.
