A Pre-emptive Thank You

To all you costume freaks out there.

I'd like to start this blog by asking you to take a stroll with me down memory lane. Not a long stroll, mind you. More of a brisk walk. Feel free to hold my hand if you need some support over the rocky terrain.

I'm here to help.

In a previous blog, I made the following statement:

"The 'girls' have been kept under wraps for the entire Fall and Winter seasons -- except on Halloween, of course -- the only 'cold' weather month it's socially acceptable for girls to embrace their inner sluts."

Sorry, dear readers. I'm not offering a musical interlude so you can confirm the above. I'm weary from having to constantly prove myself. If you don't believe me by now it's a you problem, not a me problem.

Moving along...

The section in the above excerpt separated by dashes is what I'd like to use as the catalyst for a heartfelt "thank you."

Thank you to the majority of the female population from the majority of the male population.

Thank you.

Thank you to all the strong-minded, sexually independent women out there who continue to comfortably embrace their inner sluts on All Hallow's Eve.


[SHORT DIGRESSION: START]

Don't know about All Hallow's Eve? Tsk, tsk, reader. Get back in school and, this time, pay attention instead of sniffing glue.

[SHORT DIGRESSION: END]

It would be redundant to put the word "slutty" in front of each costume deserving of such gratitude. So, while you're reading this particular list of interjection recipients, do me a favor and consider "slutty" the understood adjective.

Thanks be to all the nurses, cowgirls, cops, she-devils, dominatrices, waitresses, playboy bunnies, celebrity wanna-be's, french-maids, biker babes, pussy cat dolls, pop-culture icons, kitty cats (basically any animal with a tail and ears), school girls, construction workers, mechanics, cheerleaders, teachers, secretaries, runway models, strippers, hookers, military personal, stewardesses, queens, butterflies, angels (again, basically anything with wings), princesses, etc.

The list goes on-and-on. There is an infinite number of possibilities and all are equally deserving of being thanked.

We'll extend a special thank you to all the random girls that wear as little lingerie as possible. To be honest, I'm not even sure what your costume is, but I KNOW it's slutty.

Thank you, girls. Thank you for trailblazing new ways to express your sexuality. Grown men everywhere would have NO reason to go out on Halloween without you. And, while you're feeling ambitious, continue to push the bad taste envelope. Or, more specifically, continue to push up your cleavage and skirt lines on Halloween allowing men everywhere to objectify you.

"Trick" or "Treat," Ladies?

We'll have to let all the fellas decide.