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Hey, Ladies, you can keep Shades of Grey, Johnny Depp, Team Jacob, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, George Clooney, Team Edward, The Jonas Brothers, Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, Magic Mike, David Beckham, Ryan Gosling, McSteamy, McDreamy AND McConaughey.
I'll take Jessica Biel.
Game.
Set.
Match.
There's a old saying that goes something like, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Unless you're asking George W., of course.
And, Georgie's interpretation notwithstanding, I need to note said famous idiom as I highlight the fact the boys over at Barstool Sports stole from me again.
Yup. Again.
They found their most recent "Guess That Ass" contestant Jessica Rafalowski, who has also become el presidente's newest favorite girl on earth, because of yours truly.
That's right, I said it.
The media powerhouse that is "El Prez" got his content from the lowly world of sports+thoughts for the second time since I answered an open job invite back in February of 2010. The proof is in my previous blog, the below pictures from his latest rape and, of course, the pudding.
Exhibit A: Posted by sports + thoughts on 6/13/12.
Exhibit B: Posted by el prez on 6/15/12.
Shameful, indeed.
Now that I think of it, there's another
famous idiom that says, "Pride comes before the fall." Or maybe I'm
thinking of a lesser known one that warns, "Steal from me once, shame on
you. Steal from me twice, go fuck yourself."
I get them confused.
I'm not drinking the haterade, Portnoy. I get it. You're doing what all large companies do: steal from the little guy and call "dibs." I get it. It's smart business. Barstool Sports is the blueprint for what blogs can become and possesses the type of brand recognition sports+thoughts could only dream of. (Not to mention cornering the market on college girl creeping and boy wonder howitzer pictures.)
Sandusky much?
Listen, if you want to stand on the shoulders of an unknown blogger and call yourself tall, that's fine. At least have the courage to recognize the skills, chief. I may not be as well known as you are now but my success in some media capacity is inevitable and, when I achieve it, I'm gonna become the proverbial thorn in your side.
Believe it.
But, until I get there, I'll have to formulate a different plan. My gut tells me it will involve your wife, an affair, followed by cell phone pictures posted on my blog. I'm guessing she's a "good Jewish girl" but, if she's not, I'll make her one and see how strong those "dibs" calls of yours really are.
I guess you're not the only one who has a new favorite girl on earth, brother.
Game on.
