Bitter break-ups are all around us, dear readers. Entertainment television and grocery store magazine racks inundate us with images of celebrity relationships gone sour. And, if that wasn't reminder enough, we see it occur with friends and family members in our everyday lives.
Even late night TV, a place of comedic respite for viewers winding down from a long day, is currently entrenched in a relationship controversy. NBC plans to send Conan O'Brien packing, with a rumored settlement check of $45 million dollars in his pocket, after only 7 months as host of the Tonight Show.
[SIDE NOTE: START]
Can you believe NBC wants Conan gone so badly they're paying him so much to do so?
I can't.
On the off chance you read this, Conan, I would like to offer a sincere thank you for all the ridiculous characters and bits you introduced to the world during your television career. I'll miss the hair, Vomiting Kermit, Pimpbot 5000, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, La Bamba, Andy's Little Sister, Joel Godard, Mr. T, Bob Dole, Conando, Wax Tom Cruise & Fonz, Horny Manatee, Recliner of Rage and In the Year 2000.
But I'll miss you most of all, Masterbating Bear.
[SIDE NOTE: END]
With Conan's final show and the age old adages of "laughter is the best medicine" & "time heals all wounds" serving as my inspiration -- or justification -- I feel it's time I'm allowed a humorous public quip, which I created on someecards.com, concerning my failed marriage from nearly 7 years ago.
If I'm wrong and it's still too soon I suppose I'll be the guy checking IDs in hell. I really hope I'm not, though. Because, with my perspiration issues, eternity will be one endless underarm sweat stain.
Some might call it cold-hearted. Others will consider it cathartic.
I agree with the latter.
2 comments:
Is it too soon to get your picks and analysis for tonight's games, Mr. S&T? My bookie grows impatient with me. v/r, b
Dear bobbie dean,
I would like to help you itch your gambling scratch but, alas, I can not.
I can tell you, however, that when I attended high school our school colors were purple and gold.
I can also tell you that I once had a pet hamster named Peyton. His roommate, who I purchased in Mexico, was named Sanchez. After 18 weeks of sharing the same cage, Peyton ate Sanchez.
Oh, and I prefer to drive over bridges as opposed to going under them.
Sorry I couldn't help more. Good luck when you speak to your bookie!
Post a Comment