Monday, February 23, 2009

The Morning After: NC-17


Reader discretion is advised.


My intention was to come clean and share some serious heartbreak with you in today's The Morning After (thus the heading.) But, as I started to type, I realized I couldn't.

All I can offer now is a vague update.

I've been away for a bit dealing with a handful of little tragedies that always seem to make up my life. And, while I believe jokes and laughter help us remember to NOT take life that seriously, it's still too soon for me to discuss them in this forum.

Even though I've been focused on some private issues the sports world has been very active over the past few weeks. I hope to be back at full writing strength soon, dear readers. In the meantime, below is an offering of random thoughts I wanted to share.

Sorry for the cliffhanger. Rest assured, though: I will dive into the above mentioned tragedies at a later date.

The catharsis is invaluable.

-----------------
Quick Thinking
-----------------

-- Guys wearing eye makeup confuse me.

-- So do steroid heads wearing lip gloss, A-Rod.

-- It's hard to believe that Del's Lemonade stores will be open in less than a month when there's 15 inches of snow on the ground.

-- Blanket Memo: the correct spelling of the commonly used adverb is "a lot."

-- While I'm at it, "your" is a pronoun implying possession while "you're" is the contraction of "you are."

-- The fact that the Patriots traded Cassell for a second round draft pick should tell you everything you need to know about Tom Brady's health.

-- It should also tell you whether or not they think Cassell is really worth 14.65 million.

-- R.I.P every idiot who, in an effort to 'think outside the box' and sound smart, called into local radio stations saying, "Maybe we should trade Brady..."

-- Never question the game of a man who just married the wealthiest supermodel in the world.

-- If you have any memories of playing arcade games, do yourself a favor and watch King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. I'll take it one step further: even if you DON'T have arcade memories, you still need to watch this movie.

-- Seriously, stop with the questions and just watch it. Trust me.

-- Note to A-Rod: apologies are more readily accepted and seem more genuine when they're not read from a script.

-- Just ask Bill Clinton.

-- The Fray feels like an updated version of The Counting Crows during the peak of their popularity in the 90's.

-- The biggest difference, I guess, is I feel slightly gay when listening to them.

-- I didn't feel that way when jamming to 'Round Here back in college. I felt 'progressive.'

-- Probably because Adam Duritz, the lead singer, dated Jennifer Anniston who is the epitome of any sane heterosexual's idea of the perfect wife.

-- That's not up for debate.


Photobucket

-- Case closed.

-- Scary thing is, he did that looking like Duff from Charm City Cakes with a dead cat on his head.

Photobucket

-- Amazing.

-- Quote of the Week comes from an unnamed friend who quipped the following line when an extremely attractive woman crossed our path: "If I was that hot, I'd stay home all day and just jam things in myself."

-- And all the questions I've ever had about his relationships were magically answered.

-- Have you read Obama's Bail Out? I mean really read it? It's the equivalent of political mad libs.

-- Despite their program changing win vs. #1 Pitt, PC still needs to make some noise at Madison Square Garden if they want to punch a dance ticket.

-- Is it just coincidence that Keno Davis, the PC Men's Basketball coach, shares his name with the most popular gambling game in RI run by lottery giant GTech?

-- Point shaving, anyone?

-- For those keeping score at home:
Sandra Herold's Pet Chimp - 1. Micheal Vick's Dogs - 0.

-- Quote of the Week II comes from a coworker whom I've never met. I heard this gem from a cell phone conversation he was having at work: "You better come to your senses! In 6-8 months you're going to be missing me cuz the kid will look just like me. Stop being stupid."

-- Apparently he learned how to whisper in a saw mill.

-- And, based on the tub of Muscle Milk he keeps on his desk for all to see, he learned how to speak to women at his local GNC.

-- JAEGER BOMBS!!!

-- February 28th brought the loss of legendary radio broadcaster Paul Harvey. I have fond memories of listening to his iconic voice in those famed "Rest of the Story" segments with Dad during my childhood. My condolences to his family and loved ones.

-- "Good Day."

No comments: