Revisionist History

Life advice comes in many forms, dear readers.

Here comes mine.

As I age, I don't "feel" any older. I truly don't. Other than my hairline not being what it once was, *shoulder shrug emoji* my body and mind have never been sharper. Ever. My diet, workout and life routine are simply the healthiest they've ever been. I'm literally in the best shape of my life. Sure, my body has random aches and pains -- but that's nothing new. I've been dealing with that since I came out of my coma back in 2004.

What I do feel, however, is the constant desire to remove anything superfluous from my life. Social media? Removed myself from all outlets over a year ago. Same old social life activities? I avoid them entirely and focus on more important things: like my job and my son. Alcohol and recreational drugs? If I have a few drinks once in a month that's a lot these days. I'm not in my 20's or 30's anymore. Those behaviors died long ago in a past life I don't even really recognize. Like a movie I don't remember seeing. Drama-filled family quarrels? Non-existent. I simply don't put myself in situations where those may result. And, if I sense one coming, I leave without a word...just disappear.

#irishgoodbye

What I've gained as I trim those unnecessary distractions from my life is clarity. Clarity about who I am, what's important and what isn't, who my real friends and positive influences are, what I value and, most importantly, who I want to be. And with clarity comes a whole bunch of security in myself and the decisions I'm making. But what it doesn't come with is consensus from other's that I am, in fact, living well and living happy.

I've written many times in the past that "people in life don't see a person as what they are." And they don't. People see a person as what they are in relation to their life. Perception trumps reality at every turn. If someone's perception of you is from who you were 10 years ago, than that's who you are to them: then, now and always.

Don't believe me? Ever hear a mother or father say about their adult son or daughter, "they'll always be a baby in my eyes."

Same thing.

So, as I live a better life filled with higher standards of accountability for my actions and behaviors -- resulting in some people having to be removed from my life entirely -- there's pushback. Lots of pushback. There's disbelief. There's eye rolls. Eventually, there's "fuck you's" and questions like "do you think you're better than me now or something?"

The answer, of course, is I am better than you. And not in a value proposition kind of way. I'm better because I'm questioning myself and trying to improve who I am and how I interact with the world around me. I'm trying to make the next 40 years of my life better than the previous 40.

My ultimate hope is that I'm a casualty of the same mindset from others in my past. We all need to be better. And we can't all get better unless we start with ourselves.

Cue the Michael Jackson music.

The real wonder in all of this is how those who are truly insignificant feel they have some quantifiable value. It's really quite startling. Try it and you'll see. Once you begin to distance yourself from some people in your life, especially those you didn't have much of a meaningful interaction with anyway, turn out to be the most angry about it. Why are they the most angry? Because, like I said, their perception of you and the relationship -- in whatever capacity -- was very different from the reality.

It's a strange social commentary, indeed.

Now I'm not saying to dissolve all relationships in your life, dear readers. What I'm saying is start looking around you and make sure you're surrounded by people who bring out the best in you and want the best for you. Period. End of sentence. If you're holding yourself to higher standards, surround yourself with people that applaud that effort instead of condemning it as folly. I've been approaching my life this way for the past year or so and I've never been more content.

I'd recommend you do the same.