Quick Thinking: The Break-Up Boogie

The circus that is now the Miami Dolphins has become more nonsensical than the story line depicted in the first Ace Ventura: Pet Detective movie. 

No easy feat.

As media scrutiny continues to increase -- if that's at all possible --  and more details arise, the fallout between Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin feels less like a case of "I feel bullied so I'm taking my ball and going home" and more like a "scorned lover syndrome" situation.

There, I said it.

Think about it for a second. The one thing crazier than falling in love is watching two people who once loved each other fall out of it, right? And this situation filled with texts, voicemails and hearsay is as batshit-crazy as it gets. C'mon, we've all seen it happen, y'all, and the result is usually this unimaginable emotional two-step all folks never think they'll do despite its inherent inevitability.

Don't roll your eyes.

In my experience the only type of person that saves a voicemail for over a year and then releases it for others to listen too is heartbroken. It screams "oh, you don't love me anymore? I'll show you!" Add the fact this "he said, he said" sideshow has all the ingredients of two people doing the break-up boogie and the possibility doesn't seem so far-fetched. 

After all, hell hath no fury like an athlete scorned.

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Quick Thinking
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-- I'm learning most people operate based not on what they want but, rather, what they don't want others to have.

-- Give it some thought and I think you'll agree.

-- I've been eating so much trail mix lately my poop is starting to look like granola.

-- True story.

-- Hollywood has certainly taken some creative license with Captain Phillips, a movie detailing the famous real-life rescue of Maersk captain Richard Phillips from Somali pirates, but it's worth seeing for no other reason than per usual Tom Hanks kills it.

-- The Crypt Keeper kills it as head pirate Muse, too.

-- Memo to Mike Napoli: As your contract search brings other suitors, don't feel bad for taking your talents (and beard) outside of Red Sox Nation. You were part of a historical season who's magic will never be duplicated so do what everyone should: appreciate this past season for what it was and turn the page. 

-- As you prepare for Monday Night's showdown with upstart Carolina and the rest of this season, remember the Patriots are a collective 26-4 following their bye week over the past 3 seasons. 

-- Yup, that's a .866 win percentage.

-- Or what we in the betting world like to call "cement."

-- Thought the same of Tennessee against Jacksonville in my suicide pool yesterday though, too.

-- And we both know how that turned out.