I'm getting sick and tired of all this posturing, dear readers.
And I'm tired of being sick and tired.
Patriot Nation is poised for another Super Bowl run and, while I'm excited at the prospect of watching Mr. Brady go for another championship, I'm hesitant to invest real hope as a result of our recent big-game failures.
Past peaks of regular season successes followed by valleys of playoff shortcomings have left me fatigued. Exhausted, actually. So my request for Bill & Brady this year is simple: stop leading me on. Seriously, stop. I can't take it anymore.
No, seriously.
You teased me with the allure of undefeated immortality with no climax in '07. Then, last year, during our playoff revenge tour, you carelessly dropped the ball at a critical moment costing us all a sigh of relief.
A much needed sigh of relief, I might add.
Listen, I don't mean to sound angry or unappreciative. You've been great to me since for well over a decade. It's just, well, I've been sitting on post-season blue balls since 2007. That's right. Blue balls. Since 2000-fucking-7!
And I can't take it anymore.
So do me and everyone else in Patriot Nation a solid by getting your hate-fuck on against Baltimore then finish the job against the NFC in New Orleans where, luckily, we've had Super Bowl success. Make it happen, fellas. Please. For my sake.
Because I'm ready to burst.
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Quick Thinking
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-- Advice of the Year Award (well, so far) goes to brother Timmy for telling me the following immediately after Notre Dame's victory over USC on November 24th, "If they play Alabama in the National Championship Game and the spread is below 10, bet your life on 'Bama."
-- Sound advice, brother.
-- Sound.
-- Advice.
-- Too bad my life's trade value was so low with the bookie.
-- As I get older, and a bit wiser, I'm realizing there's a BIG difference between those hoping to find love and those who need to find it.
-- People in the latter group are a scary lot.
-- Getting-soap-in-your-pee-hole scary, in fact.
-- They're also the ones who disclose every trivial relationship benchmark via their facebook status updates.
#dislike
-- Quote of the Week honors go to my boy Mr. Octavio for dispensing this gem to one of our single co-workers, "Listen, when you go out, you shouldn't be looking for the girl who wants you to buy her a drink. You need to be looking for the girl who wants you to be buying her breakfast."
-- Difficult arguing with simple brilliance.
-- False pretenses aside, Lance Armstrong's Livestrong foundation has raised nearly 500 million to help "inspire and empower people affected by cancer."
-- That's gotta be worth something, right?
-- Speaking of dominant athletes who misled the public, I hope your play can live up to the fictional rivalry Nike's marketing team whipped up for you this season, Tiger.
-- But you should have had the balls to title the commercial "No Hole is Safe" instead of "No Cup is Safe" because, as we both know, you're better when the world hates you.
-- And this year is about winning majors.
-- Not approval ratings.
