Fill-in-the-ellipsis accordingly.
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Quick Thinking
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-- Few things are more satisfying than seeing your boss as you emerge from the single stall office bathroom following an epic "three flusher" and greeting him with a nod & a smile as he walks in after you.
-- Soak it in, boss man. Soak. It. In.
-- The Red Sox need to win at least 33 of their remaining 46 games to even have a chance at the Playoffs this year.
-- You do the math.
-- Eddie. EDDIE!!! I want to talk to you! Why did you sign with the Miami Heat, EDDIE!?!?!?
-- Eddie Murphy's Raw helped shape my sense of humor.
-- Maybe that's why most of my jokes offend people.
-- Memo to All My Hard Working Ladies: I respect the effort, girls, but just because you're fucking the boss doesn't mean you are the boss.
-- Memo to All My Hard Working Ladies II: On the bright side, though, all those sext messages will come in handy for the inevitable sexual harassment suit following the eventual break up.
-- I need less Will Ferrell on TV promoting his new movie The Other Guys.
-- But I always need more cowbell.
-- Invisalign braces are more discreet than I originally feared.
-- I hope I can have them removed before prom pictures next year, though.
-- There's no truth to the rumor that Gillette's new innuendo-laced "tug and pull" marketing campaign will be replaced by the more direct "it's like a happy ending facial every time you shave."
-- Remember, y'all, if you've ever enjoyed a laugh while reading and you have a facebook account, PLEASE CLICK HERE to become a fan.
-- Quote of the Week goes to a new co-worker who said the following while telling a few folks about a very strict diet that forces her to bring all her food from home, "I used to store nuts in plastic all the time but they'd taste funny by the time I ate them."
-- Check, please.
-- Sometimes playing dumb is the smartest thing to do.
-- Memo to All Members of Men Nation: Wearing clear nail polish is never acceptable.
-- EVER.
-- Welcome to Boston, Shaq. Here's to hoping your effort will match your comedic timing.
-- Now put down the Twinkies and hit the gym.
-- Mullets are an underappreciated art form.
-- I inherently don't trust men who have slicked back hair and wear dress shoes with tassels on them.
-- They're just plain creepy.
-- Then again, I guess I really don't trust anyone. But men with slicked back hair and tasseled dress shoes are at the top of my list.
-- That's right, Bad Touch. I'm talking to you. And, no, you can't have my home address.
-- Stop asking.
