The Morning After: Bye Week

Bye Week

I have some good news and bad news this week, dear readers.

Let's start with the bad news: The Morning After has a bye scheduled this week.

But, on the good news front, there are only about 2 people who actually read my blog. (Sorry Mom & Dad.)

The Morning After will be back next week.

Same sports time. Same thoughts channel.

And, if Santa is real, we'll be back discussing the Patriots first round Playoff matchup.

The Morning After: Week 15

The '08-'09 Patriots may become the second 11-5 team to miss the Playoffs.

The above statement isn't unlikely, dear readers. It's probable. And it's a very hard truth the face.

Finishing the season 11-5 used to guarantee a Playoff berth. But, this year, there's a good chance that even if we win the remainder of our games and finish 11-5 we'll end up as the 7th best team in the AFC. One spot out of the playoff race...on the outside looking in.

Parity at its best.

But, as fans, I think we need to take a step back. We can't worry about the "why" or "how" questions. All those questions are moot. We can't be passive at this time of year, y'all. We can't just sit on the couch with a beer in one hand and a remote in the other HOPING for good things to happen. We NEED to be active.

Actually, I'll take that a step further.

It's our moral imperative to be active during this time of year, dear readers. And I'm not just talking about in our "fandom" here. I'm taking about our lives.

[SIDE NOTE: START]

Listen, I understand that it's really easy to be inactive during this time of year: The weather is shitty. The economy sucks. Buying gifts doesn't feel like the responsible thing to do. Mall Santa's are scary and smell like moth balls. Egg nog is icky. Christmas sweaters are offensive to the eyes. 1 in 10 of us in RI are unemployed.

Bad times. I get it. But curling up on the couch, watching movies and waiting for a better day isn't the solution.

Do me a favor -- better yet, do yourself a favor -- don't use any of those things as excuses. Don't wait until midnight on 12/31/08 to start thinking about what kind of person you want to be on 1/1/09.

Start today.

Take risks: Call the sibling you haven't spoken to in a while and see how they're doing. Forgive someone. Clean your house. Be active in the life of someone who doesn't expect it. Tell that friend of 5 years that you'd like to be more than friends. Organize. Be on time. Make sure your parents know you love them (especially if they've made it clear they don't love you.) Smile. Tell your husband you had an affair and you're sorry. Open a door for a stranger. Give a homeless guy a buck. Be active.

I know you understand what I'm trying to say, readers. And I know it's not easy. But, if you don't take risks, you're not challenging yourself. If you're not challenging yourself, you're never going to grow as a person. And, if you're not going to grow as a person, you become one of those characters from the movie you're on the couch watching over and over -- the same person trapped in time.

[SIDE NOTE: END]

Enough motivational pep-talking. Moving on...

What we need to do is understand what NEEDS to happen for us to NOT be the first 11-5 team out of the Playoffs. Who needs to win? Who needs to lose? WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN FOR THE PATRIOTS TO GET INTO THE PLAYOFFS?!

Great question. Let's answer it.

We all need to do something that isn't allowed under any other circumstance. But, desperate situations call for desperate measures.

So what isn't typically allowed that will be allowed the next 2 weeks?

Here goes: We, as fans, need to cheer for other teams. And I'm not talking about pulling for your fantasy team here.

I'm talking about feeling for other teams what you feel for the Patriots. You need to immerse yourself, emotionally, into teams that can help us make the playoffs.

Even if you hate them, you have to root for the Cowboys on Saturday. And, if that fails, you have to pull for the Seahawks and Chiefs on Sunday. No, you can't just "check" to see if they won. You can't just "hope." You have to follow each game like it was a Patriots game. Get emotionally involved. Make the sacrifice.

If you do that, our potential playoff berth will be sweeter than the 16-0 mark that took us there last year. A million times sweeter.

It'll be worth it. I promise.

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The Big Question
-------------------

This week's Big Question is speculative. And, while I'm not a big fan of speculation, I have no choice but to pose the below question. My hope is simple: the more that we talk about the Patriots in the Playoffs the better chance they have of making it. Right?

Visualize it with me, dear readers. VI--SU--A--LIZE.

Q: If the Patriots make the Playoffs this year, who would you like them to play in the first round?

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Quick Thinking
-----------------

-- Kudos to Matt Cassell for his professionalism and team commitment following the loss of his father.

-- Rajon Rondo made Deron Williams, widely regarded as one of the best young point guards in the NBA, look pretty pedestrian last night.

-- There's no truth to the rumor that Buddy is going to move to Illinois and run for governor.

-- Jennifer Aniston is wearing one tie too many on the cover of GQ.

-- Quote of the week comes from Nicholas Martin. With 9:26 left in the 3rd Quarter the Raiders were facing a 4th & 26 and I asked, "What's in the playbook for this situation?" To which he replied, "A punt."

-- Brain Food: On Sunday, Wes Welker became the 8th player in NFL history with consecutive 100 catch seasons. Can you name the other 7? (Answer below)

-- Randy Moss had 2 touchdown catches on Sunday and neither were the result of a fade route. Coincidence?

-- Probably not. Josh isn't reading my blog yet.

-- But maybe Randy is.

-- Or maybe the Raiders secondary is just as bad as ours.

-- Memo to Brad Bitt: you made the wrong decision, friend.

-- The Mighty Boosh's Old Gregg is, at first glance, confusing silliness.

-- However, after a few viewings, Old Gregg shows it's true colors as comedic genius.

-- Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.

-- The soap opera that has become the Dallas Cowboys just got more interesting after they beat the Giants on Sunday.

-- If they beat the Ravens on Saturday night EVEN I may start liking them.

-- Get your popcorn ready.

-- Speaking of getting your popcorn ready, the Christmas Work Party Season is officially upon us. Get your cell phone cameras ready, too.

-- And your local DUI Lawyer's business card.

-- Kanye's 808s and Heartbreak single-handily proves the age old adage that money and celebrity status doesn't necessarily translate into happiness.

-- Forgive me if I don't weep for him.

-- Here's a little gem from the season finale of Californication: "When a beautiful woman is kind enough to kiss you, you kiss her right back. There's no telling where that kiss will take you."

-- Hopefully, it doesn't take you to the Walk-In Clinic.

-- The more games that are decided by the referees, the more I question the integrity of the NFL.

-- Memo to all the toddlers sitting and crying on a mall Santa's lap: Let the tears flow. I'd be freaked out, too.

-- "Men's Jewelry Store" is an oxymoron.

-- I miss Pizza Inn @ School St. in Lincoln, RI.

-- Brain Food Answer: Sterling Sharpe, Cris Carter, Jerry Rice, Herman Moore, Marvin Harrison, Rod Smith & Randy Moss.

-- Just when it seemed Kurt Warner had overcome the career changing loss he suffered at the hands of a Belichick defense in SuperBowl XXXVI with an MVP caliber season, he visits Gillette Stadium with the Patriots' season on the line.

-- I'll give you 3 guesses who I'm putting my money on.

-- And the first 2 don't count.

The Morning After: Week 14

In this week's version of The Morning After, I'd like to start by shedding light on some questions I've been asked....Wait. Someone in the back of the class has their hand up...What? I need to take a step back?

OKAY, ok...I began today's article with 'In this week's version...' Starting in that manner implies there were predecessors to this week's The Morning After despite the fact that it's the pilot. So, truth be told, today is actually the official unveiling of The Morning After.

I hear the questions, dear readers. I hear them! And WHAT, pray tell, is The Morning After?

Allow me to answer.

The Morning After is a recap of the previous NFL week's action (naturally it will focus on the New England Patriots.) I'll also offer a seasoning of other observations from time-to-time...some fairly obvious and others, hopefully, are moderately insightful. The Morning After will typically run every Tuesday until the Playoffs and then, ultimately, 'til the end of the Patriots' season.

While it's a fairly obvious observation I'd still like to extend my thanks to the reader who had the courage to raise their hand and question me. Thanks for keeping me honest, dear reader. Kudos to you.

**golf clap**

Was I trying to be sneaky? No. I just didn't want there to be a big ribbon cutting ceremony or anything. I'm afraid of scissors. I didn't heed the words of my teachers in grade school and ran with a pair once. The turnout wasn't pretty and I'd rather not discuss it.

Thanks for not pressing me about it. Moving along...

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The Morning After: Week 14
-----------------------------------

The '08-'09 Patriots are proving NFL's oldest adage: defense wins championships.

I'm getting a little tired of hearing people complain about the Patriots defense. Why you ask? Well, because it's such an obvious statement: 'Our defense sucks!'

Duh.

If you disagree, puuuu-LEASE stop reading. Better yet, tell the person reading this to you to stop reading. Because if you disagree with that statement you're obviously not intelligent enough to read. Just go to bed now and I'll tell you when Santa arrives.

Numbers don't lie, folks. Our third down stop percentage and red zone defense stats are laughable.

The real question is 'Why?' Why is our defense so bad? Let's investigate.

Is it our weak secondary? And describing as 'weak' is being kind. My gut says no.

Is it the injuries? I don't think so. Injuries are part of football.

[SIDE NOTE: START]

I feel injuries to bad players don't really count as injuries. I consider it the NFL's version of survival of the fittest. When the slowest antelope gets eaten by a lion is it really bad for the entire herd? Not initially. It may be really bad for the SECOND slowest antelope but the herd, as a whole, should be fine. However, when the entire herd is slow, bigger problems get exposed. And that's what the majority of our defense has become: a group of slow antelope.

[SIDE NOTE: END]

Is it because we just wooed a 39 year old surfer out of retirement to fill a need on our team? That HAS to be a rhetorical question, right? Take a step back and think about that for a second. Seau actually FILLS A NEED. The guy who got juked out of his shoes by Deion Branch fills a need.

Name one other NFL team that he could play for today. I'll give you a sec to think about it...

**jeopardy music**

See, you can't do it. That speaks VOLUMES about the current state of our defense.

Is it the football 'gods' getting us back from tip-toeing around perfection last year? Could be. (I wish they'd do more to stop Mercury Morris from speaking, but that's me.)

Listen, I could go on-and-on analyzing the symptoms of our defense. But we want to try and find the real answer to 'Why' instead of complaining about the obvious symptoms, don't we? Yes. Yes we do.

The real issue: personnel decisions. Our defense started showing signs of this imminent breakdown during the second half of the 2006 AFC Championship Game. And, since that heartbreaking loss, nothing has been done to address our defense.

Our knee jerk reaction following that loss was to pump up our offense. And pump it up we did. Sure, our offense produced a record-breaking touchdown extravaganza and a 16-0 regular season record last year but it didn't produce a championship. The offense, who's prowess helped our weak defense hide in plain sight all year, couldn't carry us to 19-0. The 'D' faltered during the final minutes of the 'Big Game' and we lost making 18-1 part of pop culture lexicon.

Was last year entertaining? Yes. Was it satisfying? Not even close. That loss will haunt me, and every other Pats fan, the rest of our lives. Other seasons haven't been as entertaining but they've ended with championships. Our defense won our three championships NOT our record breaking offense.

We need to get back to that.

Now, with DEFENSE being the big problem this past off season, how did we respond? We responded by signing Deltha O'Neal. Ouch.

Listen, I'm not questioning Belichick's schemes or game plans. Belichick is a great coach. He's done the best to bring in players based on availability. But, to me, it's not about what he's done. It's about what he HASN'T done. I wish he would have tried to keep some other strong defensive players as opposed to losing them to free agency and thinking his schemes will work with whoever he has. I also think its nothing short of miraculous that we're even IN the playoff hunt this year. But even the best schemes can't hide the biggest issue with our defense: AGE.

We may be the smartest team in football but we're also one of the oldest. We're old, y'all. For us to have a chance and sustain our recent run of success we need to get younger and tougher on defense.

You know what I really miss? Our arrogance. Our defense used to be an arrogant bunch, readers. They WANTED to be on the field. They wanted to win games for us. As they've aged, though, it seems to me they've taken a 'workers approach' to their job. They're doing enough to get by but not doing anything really spectacular.

Can you name, off the top of your head, the last 'big hit' you've seen a Patriots defender make? And I'm talking a Ryan Clark on Wes Welker type hit. The kind of hit that makes you stand up, cover your mouth and scream 'OOOOOooooohhhh.' The kind of hit you look for on YouTube the next day.

I can't. And I'm going to consider our defense old and tired until I see one.

I hope it happens soon.

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The Big Question
---------------------

Which brings us this week's Big Question: Why do YOU think our defense has become one of the worst in the league?

Oh, right: ground rules. The Big Question will be part of every The Morning After. Answers should be given in the comments area. BE CANDID. Any and all thoughts and comments are allowed. But please have something intelligent to say instead of "FIRST!!!!"

-----------------------------
Week 14 Quick Thinking
-----------------------------

-- Matt Cassel still looks like someone who is just happy to be playing as opposed to a franchise quarterback.

-- Which is good, because if I have to hear one more idiot say 'Maybe we should trade Brady'...

-- Christian Bale's voice as Batman in The Dark Knight is laughable. Heath Leger's performance as The Joker is not. Gotta love irony.

-- It's only been a week but I already miss Entourage.

-- Seau is a symptom, not the problem.

-- Memo to the Patriots' secondary: It's not ok to celebrate after breaking up a pass play. That's your job. Stop celebrating for doing your job.

-- On the other hand, Merriweather, it IS ok for you to celebrate when you force a fumble to clinch a victory.

-- Wes Welker is the warmest security blanket EVER!

-- Can someone please tell Mr. McDaniels that Randy Moss CAN run a quick slant in the red zone instead of fade route after fade route.

-- Shit, he lives in Lincoln now. Maybe I should go tell Randy myself.

-- I feel a little sick every time I watch Matt Cassell throw a deep pass.

-- And when someone drinks seasonal snot (a.k.a Egg Nog.)

-- Tony Romo is someone I would like to have drinks with but not the kind of guy I'd want to 'have my back' when it counts...like in a bar fight.

-- Or when catching a snap to set up a winning field goal in the Playoffs.

-- Californication has the best dialogue of any show on cable.

-- Is it me or does Jabar Gaffney have money AGAINST the Patriots every week?

-- Does the defense?

-- There's no truth to the rumor that Andre Tippett will be suiting up against the Raiders this weekend.

-- I miss Asante Samuel.

-- And Ty Law, for that matter.

-- Seeing Belichick smile after beating the Seahawks should tell you all you need to know about the Patriots chances in the Playoffs this year.

-- If they make it.

-- Speaking of Belichick, did you see his post game handshake with Holmgren this week? It appeared he actually SPOKE to him.

-- And who says there are no more miracles around the Holidays?!

-- Christmas music is overrated.

-- Will T.O. be wearing sunglasses during his post-season cry this year?

-- Cassell's stats have more to do with a weak defense than a strong offense.

-- I'd rather see BenJarvus Green-Ellis than Sammy Morris.

-- And it's not because he has one of the best nicknames in recent memory: LawFirm. It's because he runs like he has something to prove.

-- Just like Wes Welker.

A Not-So-Perfect Ending

Dear Mr. Belichick,

Thank-you for wearing your red "Sunday-best" hoodie during the Super Bowl.

As a metro sexual, I'm aware of how taxing wardrobe decisions can be (second only, of course, to manscaping my hair pants.) Especially when deciding between the color of those trend setting, cut-off-at-the-elbow, mid-sleeve sweatshirts you wear.

Decisions...decisions, right?Option 1
The GRAY one, which you've made the best selling sweatshirt in Patriots Pro Shop history, gives you the esteemed look of a homeless-man that happened to find a headset and sneak his way onto the sideline of every Patriots game. It also displays your ability to compromise in life -- you don't see things in black-and-white, Bill. As a pioneer, you see life in "shades of gray." It's very inspirational....I'm weepy. Really.Option 2
The RED one, which appears to be your upgraded going-out-on-the town version, misses the mark a little bit. You looked more like a little brother who got a hand-me-down. And, to get that tailored fit, you cut off the sleeves at the elbow. Last I checked, William, you're a 55-year-old NFL head coach and not a 10-year-old little brother trying to emulate your older siblings.

Maybe I'm being too hard on you, Bill. (It's ok if I call you Bill, right?) Maybe the unprofessional hoodie-look is a product of the 500,000 dollar fine you were issued this year and your clothes budget suffered. Maybe....but I doubt it.

So, what is a fashionably challenged NFL coach to do when gearing up for the Super Bowl? Homeless Chic vs. Juvenile Elegance? Tough spot, Coach. Tough. Spot.

Well, as a fellow man who has battled similar wardrobe dilemmas, let me offer a bit of advice: Ready?

Instead of concentrating on which hoodie to wear for two weeks maybe you should have focused more on your fucking game plan.

Maybe you should have worried more about the Giants defense (Brady's giggling remark when hearing about Plaxico's prediction spoke volumes.)

Maybe you should have grabbed your Offensive Coordinator, 31-year-old Josh McDaniels, and told him to worry about winning the game as opposed to not trying to lose it.

Maybe you should have allowed the Giants blitz happy defense to over-pursue and drop a few draw plays to Faulk or Maroney.

Maybe you shouldn't have started the fucking game with a play-action pass. You need to run to set up the play-action, William. C'mon. That's a rookie mistake...

Maybe you should have kicked a 48 yard field goal instead of going for it on 4th and 13.

Maybe you should have run a spread, no-huddle offense in the second half to keep the Giants injured secondary on the field and their front 4 fatigued.

Maybe you should have lead by example and stayed on the field with 1 second remaining instead of running into the tunnel like a school-yard bully who just got beat up by the smallest kid during recess.

And maybe, just maybe, you should sit down with the team and, instead of dishing it out, eat a big, heaping serving of HUMBLE PIE.

Maybe, Bill, maybe...

Maybe if you did some of those things you would have finished the season 19-0. Maybe not. But, the bottom line is -- you lost.

Your Patriots..no, strike that. MY Patriots got beat, Bill. MY PATRIOTS. They're my team, too. I don't get paid to watch them or be affiliated with them. In fact, the opposite is true. I sacrifice to be a fan, Mr. Belichick. I do it out of love. And, as we both know, a bi-product of love is the potential of heartbreak.

You broke my heart on Sunday.

Let's take a step back. We don't want our emotions to get the best of us. Our relationship is too important to jeopardize at this point, Bill. We've been thru a LOT the past 7 seasons. I don't want to throw it all away because of one bad game.

So let's find the silver lining. Sure, you may have lost the Super Bowl and squandered your chance to immortalize the 2007-2008 Patriots.

But on the bright side, Bill: at least you looked good doing it.

Best Regards,

Terrence Joyce
Spokesman, Patriot Nation