A Not-So-Perfect Ending

Dear Mr. Belichick,

Thank-you for wearing your red "Sunday-best" hoodie during the Super Bowl.

As a metro sexual, I'm aware of how taxing wardrobe decisions can be (second only, of course, to manscaping my hair pants.) Especially when deciding between the color of those trend setting, cut-off-at-the-elbow, mid-sleeve sweatshirts you wear.

Decisions...decisions, right?Option 1
The GRAY one, which you've made the best selling sweatshirt in Patriots Pro Shop history, gives you the esteemed look of a homeless-man that happened to find a headset and sneak his way onto the sideline of every Patriots game. It also displays your ability to compromise in life -- you don't see things in black-and-white, Bill. As a pioneer, you see life in "shades of gray." It's very inspirational....I'm weepy. Really.Option 2
The RED one, which appears to be your upgraded going-out-on-the town version, misses the mark a little bit. You looked more like a little brother who got a hand-me-down. And, to get that tailored fit, you cut off the sleeves at the elbow. Last I checked, William, you're a 55-year-old NFL head coach and not a 10-year-old little brother trying to emulate your older siblings.

Maybe I'm being too hard on you, Bill. (It's ok if I call you Bill, right?) Maybe the unprofessional hoodie-look is a product of the 500,000 dollar fine you were issued this year and your clothes budget suffered. Maybe....but I doubt it.

So, what is a fashionably challenged NFL coach to do when gearing up for the Super Bowl? Homeless Chic vs. Juvenile Elegance? Tough spot, Coach. Tough. Spot.

Well, as a fellow man who has battled similar wardrobe dilemmas, let me offer a bit of advice: Ready?

Instead of concentrating on which hoodie to wear for two weeks maybe you should have focused more on your fucking game plan.

Maybe you should have worried more about the Giants defense (Brady's giggling remark when hearing about Plaxico's prediction spoke volumes.)

Maybe you should have grabbed your Offensive Coordinator, 31-year-old Josh McDaniels, and told him to worry about winning the game as opposed to not trying to lose it.

Maybe you should have allowed the Giants blitz happy defense to over-pursue and drop a few draw plays to Faulk or Maroney.

Maybe you shouldn't have started the fucking game with a play-action pass. You need to run to set up the play-action, William. C'mon. That's a rookie mistake...

Maybe you should have kicked a 48 yard field goal instead of going for it on 4th and 13.

Maybe you should have run a spread, no-huddle offense in the second half to keep the Giants injured secondary on the field and their front 4 fatigued.

Maybe you should have lead by example and stayed on the field with 1 second remaining instead of running into the tunnel like a school-yard bully who just got beat up by the smallest kid during recess.

And maybe, just maybe, you should sit down with the team and, instead of dishing it out, eat a big, heaping serving of HUMBLE PIE.

Maybe, Bill, maybe...

Maybe if you did some of those things you would have finished the season 19-0. Maybe not. But, the bottom line is -- you lost.

Your Patriots..no, strike that. MY Patriots got beat, Bill. MY PATRIOTS. They're my team, too. I don't get paid to watch them or be affiliated with them. In fact, the opposite is true. I sacrifice to be a fan, Mr. Belichick. I do it out of love. And, as we both know, a bi-product of love is the potential of heartbreak.

You broke my heart on Sunday.

Let's take a step back. We don't want our emotions to get the best of us. Our relationship is too important to jeopardize at this point, Bill. We've been thru a LOT the past 7 seasons. I don't want to throw it all away because of one bad game.

So let's find the silver lining. Sure, you may have lost the Super Bowl and squandered your chance to immortalize the 2007-2008 Patriots.

But on the bright side, Bill: at least you looked good doing it.

Best Regards,

Terrence Joyce
Spokesman, Patriot Nation